THE WARRIORS BAUMANN & The Writing Life, part 3

Rather than a 'Welcome to 2026' post, I'm continuing promotion of my newest novel THE WARRIORS BAUMANN, a ribald comedy set in medieval Missouri. Although this book is the latest installment in the FLU SEASON Saga, it is only tangentially connected. Our main characters are two Baumann descendants, brothers on a mission in the year 2353 - long after civilization has collapsed and then risen again but only to a medieval level, where former states are now kingdoms. The story is ripe for ruse and witty wiles, with a burly warrior, his clever brother, an out-on-his-luck actor, a girl warrior, a pouty princess, a dastardly duke, a wily wizard, a wayward traveler of the timestream, and a Waffle House waitress. Most of the action occurs along the Royal Road and its towns and in the capital city of Louis. (click to enlarge)

Even as I type this blog post, work continues on my next novel, a more serious epic titled A TIME OF KINGS which concerns the war between Chicageaux and Cinnati in 3030 AD, as told by another Baumann descendent. As I near the end of the initial draft, sitting at 165,000 words with two chapters to go, I am deepening and enriching the original story which I thought up at age 13 and typed up in a screenplay format while in college just to get the whole thing down on paper. More on this medieval story in a future blog post.

Where we left off in the previous blog post about my writing life, I'd thought my novel writing was done. I had published all of my books written prior to the ABNA competition (Amazon Breakthrough Novel Award) in 2011, 2012, and 2013 (The Dream Land, Book 3: Diaspora was newer than ABNA but it piggybacked off Book 2, obviously.). I had achieved my goal and could sit back satisfied as I continued my teaching career. Then we discovered vampires. Rather, my daughter did: the Twilight series, which became her obsession - to the point of collecting everything and writing fan fiction.

I told her what I knew about vampirism, based chiefly on a TV magazine show about a poor fellow who suffered from porphyria, a hideous disease which caused many of the terrible symptoms we typically associate with vampires. Rather than glittery skin as in the Twilight books and movies, real vampires had dry, scaly skin from a lack of blood flow. They also, based on my research, tended to be from one blood type and that blood type happened to be most concentrated in a little place I like to call Transylvania. Perhaps Bram Stoker also did his research and located his famous vampire in that region. So I sought to write a medically accurate vampire novel just to show my daughter the truth. 

I began with a protagonist who transforms over a short time into a vampire - unaware that his parents did the same and hid away without telling him the family curse. I lived in Oklahoma City at the time, which was 2013, and so I set the story right in my own backyard, and in the same time period as I was actually writing it. Therefore, A DRY PATCH OF SKIN was published on Halloween 2014 - at the very moment he completed his transformation in Zagreb, Croatia - while searching for a cure. It was a big hit, vampires being popular in those years. Even my own doctor deemed it medically sound and praised my research and extrapolation of the cause and effect of the syndrome.

Then life turned strange. I was invited to come and teach a summer course at a university in Beijing, China. The course I chose to teach was American Business English. The university paid for my airfare and my hotel across from the campus, and gave me a salary.  When I was not in the classroom for a couple hours on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays, I was free to go sightseeing. Or stay in my hotel room and write a new novel.

The equally strange story of how I came to write A GIRL CALLED WOLF (2015) should be made into a movie. A relative of a Facebook friend saw my vampire book, read it and liked it. We "talked" online and I learned of her background, which seemed like a fascinating story. I encouraged her to write it for 

NaNoWRiMo (National Novel Writing Month [November]) of which I had participated as a way to push myself to write. She tried but didn't get far. So we agreed to work together because I felt her story was interesting and deserved to be told. We started a collaboration where she told me about her childhood and youth, and I wrote it as a novel - fictionalizing where necessary. What was amazing was how I packed up all my Greenland maps and books to take with me to Beijing in the heat of the summer so I could keep on writing it! I cranked down the A/C in my room to better get in the mood for writing about life in Greenland.

That semi-biographical effort was followed the next summer in Beijing (2016) teaching the same course again with EPIC FANTASY *WITH DRAGONS (2017), what was to be my epic tome that said everything I wished to say about life, the universe, and dragons. Again, I toted my materials to that hotel in Beijing and wrote when not in class. The story that I'm sticking to is that my fellow authors at Myrddin Publishing, mostly of the fantasy genre, challenged me to also write a fantasy novel. I'd written sci-fi before (The Dream Land trilogy) but I knew I had to follow some tropes for my book to be fantasy. At the last moment, I was told my epic fantasy had to include dragons - so it did. 

I took the story as a spoof of epic fantasy (think Tolkien) at first, but as I got myself into the story I became compelled to tell a deeper narrative - with dragons. I treated the dragons as real biological creatures (no talking, no hoarding of gold, no sacrificial virgins). An exiled dragonslayer is determined to locate the dragons nesting place and kill them all to be rid of the menaces once and for all - only to discover on the journey a lot of truths that make him realize things about the nature of the universe. The novel was long enough, but during that month in Beijing I also wrote a novella which I broke into chapters to insert as interludes in the novel, making the work my longest novel. 

Whew! That was an effort, although I was very proud of the story I produced. I thought I really said some things that needed to be put into words. I felt satisfied with this "final" book. Again, I thought I was done writing books - and continued my teaching. But thoughts nagged me about my vampire hero. I wondered what he would be doing now. So I got back into the story - now 13 years into the future (what would be 2027-8) when he leaves his dour home in Croatia (an abandoned villa) for life as a playboy in Budapest, Hungary. In SUNRISE (Book 2, 2018), things happen, obviously, which leads to the third book, SUNSET (Book 3, 2019) in what became a trilogy. A problem which developed later was that I never described the 2020-22 pandemic when a character mentions what she has done through the years up to 2027 in the story. I learned never to give exact dates in a story and followed that advice for the FLU SEASON Saga.

I completed the vampire trilogy, and felt NOW I was finished writing. But then things happened again. A couple of events came together to spark a new idea for me: a crime thriller, which would be a new genre for me to wrote. But I love a challenge (dragons, anyone?) and so I set myself up to write it - only to be stopped in the middle by falling sick with what turned out to be, named a few months later, as something called Covid-19. More on the next phase of My Writing Life in the next blog post. Next time: the covid-era novels.

Meantime, get your copies of the FLU SEASON novels + THE WARRIORS BAUMANN.

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(C) Copyright 2010-2026 by Stephen M. Swartz. All Rights Reserved. No part of this blog, whether text or image, may be used without me giving you written permission, except for brief excerpts that are accompanied by a link to this entire blog. Violators shall be written into novels as characters who are killed off. Serious violators shall be identified and dealt with according to the laws of the United States of America.

THE WARRIORS BAUMANN & The Writing Life, part 2

What a happy holiday season it is whenever I have a new book out into the world!

This year that new book is THE WARRIORS BAUMANN (<click to get your copy), a ribald tale of two brothers on a mission in future-medieval Missouri. What is future-medieval? It is a genre in which the story is set in a medieval-level society but located in the future from our present day. How does that work? I'm glad you asked, because I've literally written six books to explain how a modern society can devolve into a less civilized society. I refer to the FLU SEASON Saga, a series of stand-alone novels with a shared timeline and crossover characters. Start anywhere; you get whatever info you need to understand that particular story. Hint: It begins with a 10-year pandemic, then gets worse (with some ups and downs while attempting to restore civilization), until there isn't much left but desperate people killing over food. Then, eventually, people start to rebuild, and after some time we are up to a medieval-level society.

States have turned into kingdoms and the capital cities have walls around them for protection. Kings rule. Warriors keep the roads clear. Traveling troupes of actors and minstrels ply their trade. One seeks to rise in status and join the Court crowd with all their frivolous finery and dour decadence. It is an ordered society. THE WARRIORS BAUMANN unfolds in such a setting as the clever older, shorter brother named Rory persuades his brawny younger brother Stank (Stanley K. Baumann) to join him on his plan to wed Princess Majory and thus become a duke. They are not prepared, however, for the trials of the Royal Road to the capital nor the plethora of schemes and gambits of the Court crowd. Success is fairly uncertain until the final scene.

Before even the FLU SEASON Saga, a small library of various stories was written, as shown in the graphic below. Once in college, the stories compiled, many based on the science fiction I had been reading in my youth. My first long work was a rip-off of Orwell's 1984; the difference in my take being that the protagonist turns out to be a plant who works from the inside to undo the tyrannical state. Titled In Pursuit of Freedom, I eventually wrote it as a screenplay and had it optioned by a Hollywood studio for a year before they dropped the project and all rights returned to me. It remains unfinished as a novel - only as the novella I typed up during high school days.

My next longform work was YEAR OF THE TIGER, which began as a sci-fi short story I wrote in college. I took the professor's advice to reset the story on Earth rather than an alien planet. So I chose a tiger as the counterpoint to a man driven insane by dreams of himself as a tiger. That story, too, became a screenplay - the easiest way to get the full story on paper back in typewriter days. I swore to turn it into a novel and I tried several times but the complicated story stood firm. Finally, after years of revision, I thought I'd gotten it just right, and published it only in 2020, when the world was in pandemic fever and nobody was buying books. A fellow author from India read it and pronounced it a fine book (her review here).

Back to the early days. I finally sat down and wrote the great masterpiece I'd envisioned based on some wildly ridiculous tales of adventure from my youth reset on an alien world. I called it THE DREAM LAND and included a version of myself and girlfriend of the time as protagonists exploring another world through an interdimensional doorway. While almost comic-bookish at first, the story through revisions got more serious, more scientific, and darker as these two Earth people learn to function in the new society and gradually rise in status - though not without considerable problems. All right, done. I'd set it down for the record.

But what happens next? I had lingering questions so I started in immediately on Book 2 of what would become a trilogy. The first book set up all the tropes of interdimensional fiction so the second book used them straightaway, focusing on the how and why - then using a time travel/change history theme (things don't go well in the end). Then I wrote Book 3 to solve the problems encountered in Book 2 (undoing the history that was changed because it made everything worse + an approaching comet). The end of a good trilogy.

In the middle of Book 2 (Dreams of Future's Past), however, I got stopped by a plot conundrum. For the next ten years I didn't write fiction. I wrote scholarly articles, grad school papers, a non-fiction thesis, and finally a Ph.D. dissertation. While teaching English after all my education, I read a student's sci-fi story which reminded me of my unfinished book. I returned to it, suddenly knowing how to get through the plot conundrum. It wasn't from anything in the student's story; rather the act of taking some fiction into my brain unlocked it and fresh ideas flowed. So I finished that book and went straight into Book 3 (Diaspora). 

Also while working on Book 1 of THE DREAM LAND Trilogy, I went to Japan to teach English. I used my experiences living there for five years and from earlier experiences living in Hawaii (thanks, Army!) to write a romance novel, AIKO. Then my subsequent Master of Fine Arts thesis was a novel titled A BEAUTIFUL CHILL, another kind of romance (what I dubbed an 'anti-romance') set on the same college campus (Ah ha! Take that, professors and colleagues!). Still another book came while I lived in South Texas and attended the university there for a Masters of Arts in English (thinking to return to Japan and teach again). Several courses in rhetoric inspired me to write a version of The Iliad and The Odyssey - putting a modern young man touring the ruins of Troy (Ilium) with an older woman named Helen. Awkward. That book, AFTER ILIUM, although not the first written, became my first book to be published as a longish novella. Next came The Dream Land trilogy, followed by A Beautiful Chill, and Aiko. I thought I was done.

How did this wave of publishing get started? I'm glad you asked because there is an answer. You see, being busy with grad school and then teaching (back in the US), I had little time to write new books. Meanwhile, the publishing world had moved on; the process changed. Instead of mailing a box of paper to an agent or publisher with a self-address stamped envelope for a reply (they didn't return to box of paper unless you included return postage), we now used this thing they were calling e-mail: you sent a message (cover letter) via this system and attached a sample manuscript file (1 to 3 chapters). Instead of waiting 6 months to a year for a reply, you could expect a reply in 3 to 8 weeks. I sent manuscripts around using both methods. Got some nibbles, no hooks. Did have a couple agents briefly. In the end it was neither method which got me published. It was the Amazon Breakthrough Novel Award competition that first got my books noticed. I entered it three years in a row but did not win. However, through the ranking process I was noticed.

I am, if nothing else, a special case. While in a hospital one day, I acknowledged to myself that if I could do anything before saying goodbye, it would be to see one of my novels published - and praised, reviewed, with movie deals, etc. in some of the dreams. So I entered the ABNA competition on that whim, got some attention, and hooked up with some small press folks. I thought at the time "this is good, this is enough" and didn't pursue more lucrative avenues. I should have tossed my hat into a wider ring. But I also thought I had no more ideas and so there was little point in trying to go big or go home. I was already home, and that was fine. Thus, I've been in the same Myrddin Publishing Group sphere of influence ever since. 

As the next book is written and the next, and the next, I keep looking back and wondering what life might have been like if I had struck out for something more traditional. Going for a Big Five publisher. As it was, I believed I wouldn't write another book so the end of my writing career, such as it was, was fine. I had done enough to satisfy my desire to see my books in print (and on Kindle). I kept on teaching.

Then I got a new idea for a book: a vampire novel.  [TO BE CONTINUED]


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(C) Copyright 2010-2025 by Stephen M. Swartz. All Rights Reserved. No part of this blog, whether text or image, may be used without me giving you written permission, except for brief excerpts that are accompanied by a link to this entire blog. Violators shall be written into novels as characters who are killed off. Serious violators shall be identified and dealt with according to the laws of the United States of America.

THE WARRIORS BAUMANN & The Writing Life

It is my pleasure to announce the launch of yet another new book from the twisted mind of me. It is a calling, a compulsion, an avocation, a truly devious deception I offer to the reading public. For is not fiction a great deception? The verisimilitude of plausible irony? Indeed, only words for one's pleasure, sentences for a semblance of scenery, and a plethora of comedy faux pas not withstanding. That said, I refer to THE WARRIORS BAUMANN, available in either paper form with a back or in plastic form under electronic duress. The choice is yours, dear gentlereader!

Here we have a ribald comedy set in a future Missouri where medieval society reigns - 200 years after the end of the previous volume in the FLU SEASON Saga (THE GRANDSONS, Book 6).  Two brothers, Baumann descendants, find themselves journeying to the capital city of Louis on a mission: Elder brother Rory intends to wed the princess and thereby make the Baumann clan into high-class folks. Rory's larger but younger brother Stank (a.k.a. Stanley K. Baumann) doubts the scheme. For one thing, there is a duke who must be removed to clear the way for Rory's courtship to proceed. With an out-of-work actor, a feisty warrior girl, and other players joining them, this tale has more twists than one of those twisted braid pastries with the pecans and frosting on it. A delight which  Princess Majory would snarf down in an instant.

However, this is not the end of the Baumann family saga. Even now work continues on the next volume: an epic of medieval monstrosity, a most serious account - serious in ways THE WARRIORS BAUMANN is amusing - of the fantastic war between twin princes in 3030 - as mentioned by travelers in my 2017 novel EPIC FANTASY *WITH DRAGONS. We can see how the timeline is coming together. The next novel shall be titled A TIME OF KINGS, and while the focus of the story is not any Baumann descendant, the narrator of the story is yet another member of the Baumann line who participates in the war between these twin brothers.

   
How did this madness begin, you might be wondering. There is a tale as old as time, when thoughts and actions were set as words on surfaces: clay, stone, parchment, paper, electronic screens. I, too, partook of the art of invention, drawing from the stormy clouds images and sounds which I mistook for reality. Called fiction by the scribes of my locale, I found them a secret delight. Indeed, I fancied my own creations and thereby took up the paper pad and pencil and drew forth the lines that represented persons of my imagination. I circled their spoken words like bubbles over their heads so they might tell us their thoughts.

Given this ability, I sought further expansion and learned the form called paragraphs. The gathering of ideas within a single block of words proved miraculous. Being only a child at the time, I was praised for presuming too much and offering more than my size should produce. In time my scribblings made sense, drew more praise and encouragement flowed, foisting me into a light of key limes - or perhaps that, too, was mere dream. Thus I fashioned many such tales of quite unalive persons acting as I wished them to act for purposes of delighting myself and others with the many ways such persons could act. And, to our great amazement, we were entertained by such invention. 

Indeed, I grew bolder and imaged more - even as this talent grew weary for those close to me. So I tempered my enthusiasm bit by bit until nothing remained of my fictionalization urges. I slipped into the ordinary life, a world of vast emptiness, a plane of plain musings not of what invention might bring but only the facts, ma'am, only the truth - as set on the pages we read in our school lessons. But there is more truth in the pages of imagination than those scraped across our great institutions - truth of a kind. A split was due. 

As I gained entrance to a higher school, my fictionalizing also grew, became unwieldy and couldn't be contained. I wrote out stories for each and every assignment regardless of the class or its subject. All was narrative. All a protagonist's journey and an antagonist's blockade. The pattern repeated endlessly. On one fine day I ventured into a new room and found there a scholar who believed my fictioneering had merit. I accepted the praise in my usual humble manner. That said, I devoted myself to the creation of imaginary tales of made-up persons doing ordinary and interesting things, occasionally extraordinary and highly interesting things, such that greater stories were put to the page.

In that ancient era, we employed the device called the Smith-Corona manual typewriter. The device allowed a single person to push keys which imprinted characters upon an inserted sheet of paper. An amazing invention for the time. In that terse apprenticeship, I composed a story of 66 pages, in single lines, following the model of a book titled "1984" - which we had read in a class. I thought my take on the tale was totally tremendous. Passing it around to friends, who passed it to their friends, brought it to the attention of half the school by the time the stapled pages found their way back to me. I was to become a legend - if not for my musical career bursting on the horizon, sending me and my tuba to a proper university; indeed, a conservatory, to hone my skills and make something of myself, as the professors liked to say.

I continued to compose stories alongside composing music. Both became outlets for my imagination: a tale told in words or a tale told in notes. The same to me; I knew the details. Then came the time in which decisions were made. Alas, I did not become a great composer of Classical music or even film music. I allowed myself to be swept away into foreign intrigue. Only then did I realize the story side of my efforts was the true one. Oh, I could still dabble in music, enough to entertain myself. But I had to admit it was a lot easier to write a book and hand the pages to a reader than it was to gather a bunch of musicians, copy out individual parts, and perform a symphony. I did actually compose a symphony but the 3 movements were never performed all at one concert. 

So I took up the cause of the English teacher. I made myself into one of those who taught how to write. How to write all manner of texts, in all situations, employing a variety of styles and tone, incorporating information and opinion, images and links to the at-large world. It grew tedious in time. I started to scribble again on the side. Even as I worked to earn my money, I created stories which saved my soul. That is the story I'm telling. There is more to tell, however; I would call it the good parts. You be the judge. 

I shall continue this history lesson in a less haughty fashion in my next post. In the interval, I highly recommend you get started with THE WARRIORS BAUMANN, and prepare yourself to burst out laughing perhaps forty times between its covers. And please note: there will not be a test at the end of your reading, so simply enjoy the tale of our two brothers doing their best to win at life! So let it be written, so let it read! 

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(C) Copyright 2010-2025 by Stephen M. Swartz. All Rights Reserved. No part of this blog, whether text or image, may be used without me giving you written permission, except for brief excerpts that are accompanied by a link to this entire blog. Violators shall be written into novels as characters who are killed off. Serious violators shall be identified and dealt with according to the laws of the United States of America.

Exactly who are THE WARRIORS BAUMANN ?

Having a little time while waiting for Book 6 of my Flu Season Saga, THE GRANDSONS, to launch, I dove into a fresh idea I had. 

I imagined the timeline of the Flu Season series a couple hundred years further into the future, say 2353, and what descendants of the people in THE GRANDSONS might be doing. As the series has gone along, society and civilization have regressed (with a brief 20 year pause for rebuilding that ultimately failed, as recounted in Book 4: THE BOOK OF DAD). Therefore, this new story would be even more regressive than the Western drama of THE GRANDSONS. Think medieval. Think no modern conveniences, only horses and swords and cities behind walls, with the outer forests and fields free rein for vagabonds and scoundrels. 

In my overarching theory, what life would be like a couple hundred years after 2000 would be similar as life back in 1800 - with exceptions, of course. So I begin with a protagonist who is a warrior by profession with a side hustle as a sire for women wishing for children. (Many of the people are unable to conceive due to the lingering effects from the past pandemic/plague.) This warrior by the name of Stank (Stanley K. Baumann) is minding his own business when he's summoned by his elder brother. An adventure awaits! 

UPDATE: THE WARRIORS BAUMANN has launched! Get it here in paperback or ebook for Kindle: https://mybook.to/fOAbh

What is this adventure? It seems as though this older brother has a scheme. Being known as a wily fellow, Rory Baumann is full of plans. He knows Stank will help him, and he is in need of a brawny partner to complete his latest plan: to wed the princess. Thus, the two must journey across the wild Ozark land to reach the city of Louis, capital of the Kingdom of Missoura. Many adventures ensue along the way, some nearly fatal, others merely amusing. They gather a few companions - de rigueur in epic fantasy tales - and arrive in the walled city beneath the great silver arch - only to face further episodes that test their verve and cunning - and for Stank also his inner and outer strength.

[click to enlarge]

I cannot say more or fabulous entries shall be revealed too soon. Suffice to say, readers will be amazed, laugh aloud, be horrified, feel ravaged and come away with a full meal deal of the range of emotions, with a satisfying though rather odd conclusion. As a "ribald comedy" there is naughtiness aplenty though none bear too graphic description for younger readers. There is violence, as would be the norm for such times, yet not too graphic in its depiction. There is plenty of witty wordplay, punctilious puns, inspiring insults, and delightful decadence among the Court riff-raff. Behold! Schemes and gambits, plots and turnabouts, twists and turns in a decidedly future-medieval manner! 

THE WARRIORS BAUMANN launches December 15 - if all goes well within the vagaries of our electronic age!

As always, many thanks, good readers, for your constant support! Enjoy reading further!

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(C) Copyright 2010-2025 by Stephen M. Swartz. All Rights Reserved. No part of this blog, whether text or image, may be used without me giving you written permission, except for brief excerpts that are accompanied by a link to this entire blog. Violators shall be written into novels as characters who are killed off. Serious violators shall be identified and dealt with according to the laws of the United States of America.

Who's on First? The Comedy of THE WARRIORS BAUMANN

Dear Humorless Vagabonds,

Allow me to entertain you with boundless comedy of a ribald nature! Behold! For I bring you a tale of the future, the future generation of the Baumann family as made famous and notorious in the FLU SEASON Saga, a series of six books detailing the survival of five generations of Baumanns. But wait! There's more! 

Let us advance a couple centuries and meet a future pair of brothers born of the same mother bearing all the traits of kin past yet by different fathers. Thus the eldest brother, Rory, is shorter than the next eldest brother, Stank. Stank is Stanley K. Baumann but he goes by Stank for reasons discussed in the pages. Rory has red hair like his ancestor Bart, and Stank has dark brown hair like his ancestor Jake. Rory is a spry, clever fellow while Stank is big and strong, a professional warrior. Together they travel to the capital city of Louis.

Louis is to the west side of the kingdom of Missoura here in the year of 2353. The brothers journey there because Rory has the idea he will wed the princess. But he needs his bigger brother to get the duke out of the way, to clear the path, as it were. Being brothers, Stank is willing to see to Rory's happiness even though Rory has had many schemes in the past that didn't work out. As is common in such epic tales, many adventures ensue along the way, and even more after they arrive in Louis.

I've dared to brand this tome as a ribald comedy. Ribald meaning a tad to the naughty side of things. Comedy meaning the humor is deliberate;  more than simply a normal day to day interaction between brothers and others they meet. This may not sit well with readers who like their comedy unforced. And yet, what's a good comedy without a full measure of ridiculous situations, witty wordplay, and double-takes as plot twists? I ask you!

Behold one such example of a comedic passage from a later chapter:

Rory had to think a moment. “I never have thought to gain only the one without the other. You make me a jest?”

“Not a jest,” said Stank, glaring at him. “Not a game, neither. I did what I had to do to bring you what you asked for.”

“What I asked for?”

“Ay, what you asked for.”

Rory glared at him. “What did I ask for?”

“You know what you asked for.”

“What was what I asked for?”

“You know you asked for what you asked for.”

“Ay, but what was it that I asked for?”

“You asked for me to confront the duke, that Lindo fellow.”

“Ay, that one. I asked for him?”

“You asked me to remove him. That’s what you asked for.”

“That’s what I asked for?” Rory threw up his hands. “That duke you were supposed to offend and get him to challenge you to a duel, then defeat him?”

“That’s what you asked for, and it’s what I attempted.”

The comedic phrase "what I asked for" is fraught with repetition; hence, amusing in its ridiculousness. Try it: read it aloud and quickly! Trippingly so. It smacks of a Who's on First routine made famous by comedians Abbott and Costello. Other such examples exist within the story.

In another sampling, from a middling chapter, we find witty wordplay, including references made innocently within the scene yet which we from our haughty past position recognize as referencing a contemporary item or instance we know all too well.

“It may not have been what King Karl wished,” Rory explained, “but he understood a way of life couldn’t easily be changed in a few days – or even a few weeks. They had a city. Rules were different in a city. Had to turncoat, wear the new rules on their sleeves.”

“So they went soft,” Stank spoke, gazing ahead along the road.

“Ay, they lost their warrior spirit,” Rory conceded.

“Happens to all in time,” said Stank, giving his warhorse a pat. “You fight for peace. You grow fat in peace. Then a new-born wolf wants what you’ve gathered but you’re too besotted to defend against the attacks.” He gave a snort. “Best build high walls while you grow old and fat, safe within your sanctuary. Train the youngers to fight.”

“Or do like people did a couple hundred years past,” said Rory, “hiding in the woods or going under the ground to wait for peace.”

Stank nodded. “They were sad days.”

“A few great-grandsons later and we have a new King Karl, who is number five or thereabouts.” Rory mugged. “He’s a softy now, as you said. Old and fat. Lives in luxurious gowns, hair grown down to his waist, all curly and adorned with ribbons. Always a hair-keeper at his becking and collaring. Not a threat to any of us – lest his hair falls into disarray and the hair-keeper cannot be found.”

“I pity the coiffeur,” Stank laughed.

The passage starts in a serious tone then little by little turns comedic as the brothers play off each other's remarks, leading us to the final declaration (of this sample), which mimics the common tag-line of the TV show The A-Team and Mr. T's famous line stating that he has 'pity for the fool'.

The misspoken phrase "turncoat, wear..." may be quite normal speech in the time of the scene but we recognize it as ill-spoken vocabulary and gain amusement from the twisted words, the turning from normalcy. We then pick up the serious discussion. Until we stumble into Rory's description of the old king and his obsession with hair style. Here the phrase "becking and collaring..." harkens back to what we know as "beck and call" - hence, the misspoken becomes comedy to readers of our present age yet would be quite proper in the time of the scene. We get what those characters apparently do not.

There is more - much more - within the misadventures of these two brothers. Puns and malapropisms, alliteration and assonance, are displayed as the proper speech pattern of the capital's Court crowd. It is not archaic language; rather we find ourselves in the future, a reborn future from the seeds of a devastated civilization. Our heroes reference the history of the Baumann family from the initial pandemic horrors through to the infamous life of outlaw Bart Baumann (Book 6). They even attend a stage play based on the opera composed by Maggie Baumann (Book 5), itself based on earlier notebooks written by Sandy Baumann (Books 1, 2, and 3). In this way, all forms of humor are allowed and presented, pushed to the forefront, even as we are thrust into the strange twists of fate our characters face page upon page and down to the final sentence!

Thou may enjoyest THE WARRIORS BAUMANN coming upon the front edge of winter. Look for it on the horizon, for it needs only a fair cover to be launched into the reading universe! 

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(C) Copyright 2010-2025 by Stephen M. Swartz. All Rights Reserved. No part of this blog, whether text or image, may be used without me giving you written permission, except for brief excerpts that are accompanied by a link to this entire blog. Violators shall be written into novels as characters who are killed off. Serious violators shall be identified and dealt with according to the laws of the United States of America.

We've got you covered!

I've been thinking of this topic for a while. Now that my forthcoming book THE WARRIORS BAUMANN is awaiting its cover art, it seems even more appropriate to offer you a discussion on book covers.

They say the cover is the first marketing tool, and I would agree. You see it on the shelf (or on a website page) and the image catches your eye, draws your attention. For me, that's as far as it goes. Once in my hand I turn the book over and read the blurb - What's this book about? But it was that cover art that first got me to grab the book in order to see more.

I am not a book cover art aficionado; I care less about the art itself than that the cover represents the genre and hints at the particular story. Personally I prefer a simpler design, but I recognize that genre such as fantasy, science fiction, and romance tend to require elaborate cover art. Crime thrillers and literary fiction usually have a more toned-down cover, often symbolic rather than pictorial.

[click on covers to see larger image]

In my career, the first novel I had to arrange cover art for was AFTER ILIUM, a lusty tale of a young man who meets an older woman on a cruise to and tour of the ruins of ancient Troy, also known as Ilium. I tried and tried to think of what would be a compelling scene for the cover. Thankfully, another author offered an idea and then the cover, which I quickly approved. The design gives us three elements: the colors (red for blood), the wall (ruins of Ilium), and the big horse head (representing the gift horse the Greeks used to get into the city; hence, an icon of deception). I think it works very well. The only "flaw" might be that readers picking the book off a shelf may assume it is an ancient tale, a version of the Iliad story (it is, but set in the modern landscape). Thanks, Ceri Clark!

After that, I thought I knew what to do, cover-wise. Think through the story: what are the main elements I wished to get across? For my interdimensional steampunk trilogy, THE DREAM LAND, I had a whole new world to draw from. I also had amateur skills. The first book featured the discovery of a portal to the other world, which is a physical planet having a greenish sky. So I tried to create the effect: two explorers traversing into a greenish something. Not so great. The second book focuses on the evil queen but back when she was young and innocent. Again, the results were not the best. With the third book, which in part deals with a comet's approach, I got better: the cover does reflect the arrival of a comet. But does that draw a reader's attention enough to get the back cover blurb read?

Sometimes the idea is simple yet effective. For my contemporary intercultural romance novel, AIKO, it had to have a Japanesque image. I combined three elements: the child's face (a child is central to the story), the famous woodblock printing of the big wave (The Great Wave off Kanagawa by Hokusai) as the sea features significantly in the story, and the Japanese characters incorporated into the title letters (a purely aesthetic touch which emphasizes the Japanese aspect of the story). With a lot of tweaking it came together beautifully and I felt proud of it.

When I accepted the dare of my fellow fantasy authors to write an epic fantasy - and told it must include dragons - I looked for dragon images. I kept in mind the issues of using art for book covers, artist rights, and so on. I didn't find a good dragon image that I would be able to use without a lot of hassle obtaining the rights or worrying about those rights in the future.  Eventually I discovered artwork by a famous painter (Dragon Awakens, by Theodor Kittelsen) which was in the public domain and incorporated it into the cover for EPIC FANTASY *WITH DRAGONS. Although it may seem dull by fantasy book cover standards, I liked it: subtle yet ominous: the dragon emerging from the clouds, ready to attack. One "flaw" is that the artwork has been used for other covers.

One cover I am particularly proud of is my contemporary crime thriller, EXCHANGE, which is about the aftermath of a horrendous crime crossed with the arrival of an exchange student. I had the idea immediately. As I write about all of the gray areas of the gun control issue, I envisioned a cover which would have a band of white and a band of black with the gray in the middle. I found (and bought) a stock photo of a girl resembling the character in the story and positioned her in that gray area. The image continued onto the back cover where a "tattoo" of the sign commonly found at schools ("gun free zone") is placed. The front cover suggests a crime thriller while the back cover gives the blurb in a more intense font style appropriate for a crime thriller.

I work with an artist friend for most of my book covers. We discuss ideas when I don't have one right away and she offers suggestions. I've relied on her for several of my covers and sought her again for what I thought would be a one-off stand-alone novel about the effects of a pandemic on a single mother and her teenage son. That stand-alone became THE BOOK OF MOM, which itself became the first of a trilogy, then another trilogy, then a couple of spin-offs - all part of my FLU SEASON SAGA. For the first book, I imagined the mom's face, in a mask like we were wearing in that early stage of the pandemic, with lockdowns, shortages of everything, and so on. I expected a city in ruins as a background. Manipulation of stock photos.

The second book's concept shows the ghostly image of the Mom (from the first book's cover) as the Son goes off on his own into the woods - highly metaphorical! The third book features four of the daughters of the title, as the next generation takes over the story. 

I thought I was done then, but a story nagged at me, so I wrote Book 4 as a sequel - but it became a main line story, following a grown son into the rebuilding of a new but tyrannical  America - so the cover doesn't show any person, only the banner of the regime (more metaphor). Individuals don't matter in this new society.

But life gets easier for THE GRANDDAUGHTER, an idealistic young woman who starts a kids' band in the western town she and her mother and brothers have escaped to.

However, my artist friend suffered a family tragedy and it would not have been possible for her to devote time to my project. So I tried another artist I found through mutual writer friends on social media. He sent me mock-ups which I thought matched closely my vision. In the end I chose not to use his cover; he did the work so he got paid. I hired an art company, let them give it a try, but their covers turned out to be different from what I wanted - perhaps the first inkling of AI-manipulated art. I said thanks but no thanks. 

By then it was months later and the book was finished, just awaiting a cover. As a sci-fi story, it needed something that showed the general setting of the story (a city in chaos); couldn't avoid it. I was able to return to my artist friend and she produced the cover I liked. She went on to create the other covers in the series - or we agreed on something as a compromise. For example, after working on a more elaborate cover for the latest novel THE GRANDSONS, we switched gears and went with the simpler silhouette image using a stock photo from her collection. This cover image matches some elements in the story: the persistent glow from the east plus the riders on horses (definitely a Western).

Now I have another book ready to go: THE WARRIORS BAUMANN. As a ribald comedy (you read that right!) set 200 years after THE GRANDSONS, it should be sci-fi but civilization has further regressed so we find our main characters in a medieval setting, on a journey across the Ozarks to the capital of Louis (St. Louis) so one of them can wed the princess. It smacks of epic fantasy, so it needs a cover that matches the genre. I have sent my ideas to an artist professional whose work I've seen and like. My artist friend agrees that what I'm asking for is more than she could do effectively to the degree the story deserves.

Now we await the amazing result! THE WARRIORS BAUMANN launches December 1, 2025. 

Meantime, the next book, A TIME OF KINGS, originally conceived in a spiral notebook during social studies class when I was 13 and subsequently put off for years (despite a college screenplay version and two post-college attempts at novelizing the screenplay) is well-underway and should be finished in the foreseeable decade. An elaborate medieval-esque cover shall definitely be required.

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(C) Copyright 2010-2025 by Stephen M. Swartz. All Rights Reserved. No part of this blog, whether text or image, may be used without me giving you written permission, except for brief excerpts that are accompanied by a link to this entire blog. Violators shall be written into novels as characters who are killed off. Serious violators shall be identified and dealt with according to the laws of the United States of America.

The Great Summer Road trip

Irony never escapes me. I look for it or often see at random a convergence of patterns in time and space. That helps a lot when writing a grand story captured in novel form. So it is that while I wrote my newest novel, THE WARRIORS BAUMANN, essentially a journey to a destination with much importance, so too did I travel to a destination of importance. I have also returned to tell you the tale.

I had known from late spring that a trip would likely be called sometime in July or August, and so I prepared myself. This effort would be assigned to relocating the daughter to a new city in a far away state for the grand purpose of reuniting with the boyfriend. I had driven the route previously and longed to return, although not quite as far as we found necessary. While she was widely-traveled in summers with Dad and in many years since gaining adulthood, she hadn't driven such a long route.

Therefore, I suggested we each drive our vehicles, each loaded up, and use the "POD" method to send the bulk of her worldly possessions to her new home. Her car would also contain her two dogs. I calculated the route, the gas stops, the hotels along the way only to find she had done so already. I guess I  taught her well. She also was a user of GPS tracking while I had a bevy of paper maps judiciously folded to display the portions I needed to see.

Setting out one morning, with delays for last minute packing and other errands, we finally got on the highway and headed north then west to Colorado. In my previous passage through the Denver to Cheyenne segment in 2019, I was harried at every turn by extensive road construction and no rooms at the inns. This time we passed successfully through the evening rush hour traffic and found our hotel for the night.

The next day was a little shorter: all the way to Sheridan, Wyoming. The stop was a chance to again dine at a Taco John's, but she chose a sushi restaurant, which was adequate yet expensive. Next day, we carried on, north into Montana and west across southern Montana to Bozeman. Originally intended to be only a gas stop with Missoula the hotel stop, she learned that her Air Force pilot boyfriend was stuck on base so there was less need to rush there. So we stopped in Bozeman for what turned out to be 2 nights.

I enjoyed my stay in Bozeman in 2023 and welcomed the opportunity to return. I took her to the Montana State U campus and got a new Bobcat shirt, then to Barnes & Noble at the mall to gather maps, then to Qdoba even though Bozeman also has a Taco John's. The boyfriend still delayed on base, we elected to spend the next day touring Yellowstone National Park, 90 minutes' drive south of Bozeman. At her direction we went to different areas than I visited in 2023. When we returned to Bozeman the air was cool and rained overnight, so no need for A/C.

The next morning we headed out to Missoula and points beyond. In my 2023 travels, I had considered driving further west from Missoula but after a day in Glacier National Park and traversing the valley west of the mountains I was too tired and so turned east a bit to Missoula. So we would both be driving new pavement:  into the mountains, up and down and curving sharply this way and that with big trucks passing in the next lane. It was harrowing, but we survived to enter Idaho, the narrow part of the state, and onward to Coeur-d'Alene, then into Washington state and the Spokane metroplex.

We arrived in late afternoon, with me following her through the city at the rush hour, and immediately upon entering the apartment complex, the boyfriend flagged us down, pointing to parking spaces. Expecting they would appreciate the chance to reunite, I put myself in a nearby hotel, the idea being to rest before the return drive. The following day the couple escorted me around the city, having brunch in a refurbished train car, and sailing in a pod over the rapids that run through the city center. The next day, Sunday, I did some writing in my hotel room, then did my own car tour of the area and got supplies for the return trip. Later, I met them at the apartment for dinner.

As I mentioned at the start, I had just finished the draft of my new novel about two brothers on a journey to the capital in future-medieval Missouri. While I drove I listened to music I'd compiled as a soundtrack. As I listened to the music, I planned the story - even though it already exists in screenplay form and two attempts at novelization (more next blog post). Thus, as I went on an amazing journey, so too did my heroes in the novel. As I drove back to my home, I repeated the music and the novel planning. It was a win and also a win!

I had ideas of taking another route back, seeing new places, but I have this strange fixation: when I reach my destination, no matter how long it takes or what I experience on the way, I seem to want to return home as quickly as possible. I told myself it was better to plan a separate trip to see those other areas I was skipping this time. So I repeated the route exactly but in reverse, skipping Yellowstone. I stopped in Bozeman again and got to meet my book cover artist to discuss THE WARRIORS BAUMANN cover ideas. Then I faced the same hassle going south as in 2019.

Driving from Bozeman to Sheridan, stopping for lunch at the Taco John's, I proceeded on across Wyoming with the expectation of stopping for the night in Cheyenne. When I got to Cheyenne, looking for a good gas stop, I decided I could go on to the same hotel we stayed at on the north side of Denver. But it was rush hour and I couldn't make it over to exit and so I continued on, got caught up in the traffic flow but found the way to I-70 eastbound. I decided I could stop for the night at one of the towns along the way. One problem: road construction. It wasn't so much the barrels and one-lanes but the occupancy of the hotels along the way, full of the workers. As night settled around me - much as it had in my 2019 trip - I drove on, weak and weary, feeling dreary, until I landed in Colby, Kansas and got a room. The next morning I timed my checkout to meet the opening of the Taco John's next door.

The remainder of the drive home was a constant battle between my gas mileage and the fierce plains wind, dropping the rate below what it would be for city stop-and-go driving. But I made it home eventually. I unloaded the car and took a nap, then got up and, having no food, ordered a pizza to be delivered. Later, I booted up my desktop machine and copied over my notes from my traveling laptop, ready to write the following morning. With THE WARRIORS BAUMANN on hiatus pending a fresh read-&-revise project, I started in on the next novel, a future-medieval epic titled A TIME OF KINGS (more in a future blog post): think of a war between Midwest city-states c. 3000. That's my story and I'm sticking with it.

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(C) Copyright 2010-2025 by Stephen M. Swartz. All Rights Reserved. No part of this blog, whether text or image, may be used without me giving you written permission, except for brief excerpts that are accompanied by a link to this entire blog. Violators shall be written into novels as characters who are killed off. Serious violators shall be identified and dealt with according to the laws of the United States of America.

What's this comedy thing?

Now that most people are reading THE GRANDSONS, my latest offering in the FLU SEASON  Saga and presumably the concluding volume, I find myself recently finishing a brand new novel based on the same family but set further into the future.

Funny story. As I usually do, I completed the draft of THE GRANDSONS and immediately went through the reading and revising phase until I had made it something I could live with. Then, as I typically do, I set it aside for a month. The idea is to come back and read it through again with fresh eyes. (I also send it to my beta reader during this month.)  I felt good about this latest epic, a tour-de-force if ever there was one (well, by me). It turns out to be my second-longest novel after only my EPIC FANTASY *WITH DRAGONS (in 2017).

Speaking of EF*WD, I'd been trying to make my Grand Timeline meet up with EF*WD and laid some seeds for it in THE GRANDSONS - could be merely Easter eggs that some may find. So I was joking about a story that could bridge THE GRANDSONS (set in 2155-85) and EF*WD (set c. 8000), stretched as it may be, and an idea came to me. It was only a scene, but I decided to type it out, see if it was something. Then I slept on it. I came back and wrote more, had a couple chapters written and most of a plot figured out by the time I returned to THE GRANDSONS for the fresh re-reading.

So, as I worked through THE GRANDSONS again, I started my days by writing on this new novel. This became my routine: composing new text for the new novel, then working on revision/editing on the finished novel. This went on for two months. Once THE GRANDSONS was finished and ready to launch, I had a good portion of what I was thinking then would only be a novella already complete. Even on launch day (which came unexpectedly early) I typed on the new novel. Yes, I knew it would make it to novel length. I've been promoting THE GRANDSONS even while I have the urge to talk about my newest book. It's the writer's constant conundrum.

With THE GRANDSONS out for a month already, I finally got to the end of the new book, what I've titled THE WARRIORS BAUMANN.

Now I can go full-tilt yacking about the "next" volume in the FLU SEASON series, this one set in the year 2330. From the start I felt like writing a comedy. At first, the humor was coming from the main character's reactions to the other main character's predicaments, how ridiculous it all was. Then the comedy grew chapter by chapter until I had to put myself, as author, into the final chapter, as the supreme 'meta-fiction' conceit!

The story involves a pair of rogues: Rory and Stank. Rory is the older yet shorter brother, a clever fellow; Stank (short for Stanley K. Baumann) is the younger yet much bigger brother, a warrior. We find them on the road to the capital because Rory intends to wed the princess. He needs his mighty brother to be his champion and fight a duke to clear a path for Rory. Much occurs along the road, of course, and in towns they visit along the way. The real comedy unfolds when they arrive at the capital city, known to them as Louis, set on a bluff overlooking the Missippi River. Yes, we have traveled through the savage Ozarks, crossed future medieval Missouri, with mentions of events in the past that explain how we got here.

Stank needs long hair.

While each book I've written has moments of comedy - because people will be funny, say funny things, react in quite humorous ways - this is the first novel in which I took off the reins and let my wildest imagination explode. I broke all the rules of 'good writing' to create comedic moments. 

Characters may speak using alliteration (repetition of consonant sounds, e.g. 'laughingly loose lips') especially in the capital. There is much clever wordplay and puns. Insults flung! The ridiculous situations continue as well as characters' reactions to the ridiculousness. 

For example, Rory thinks the princess will be happy to wed him because their eyes happened to meet for a moment at a public gathering, she on the balcony and he among the crowd below, a full year earlier. Stank is a loyal brother despite doubting his brother's tale. They often clash, chastise each other, joke around - more comedy! 

Could be Rory?

And, in the final dramatic turn, ridiculous situations get resolved (or not) in even more ridiculous ways. I even allow myself to become a character in one crucial scene - the very definition of 'meta-fiction' (i.e., where a creative work or its creator references itself in the work). However, in this case, in this odd tale, it works. You'll see. Believe me. 

And the origin of the dragons in EF*WD is revealed to those who have been waiting since 2017 for the information. As a "regressionist" (one who sees the future as a regression of society to an older, less technologically-driven civilization, as opposed to "progressive" or "tech-bro utopia"), I've been pushing us further down the civilization ladder across six books until we literally 'return to the future' of medieval life, this time set in Missouri.

THE WARRIORS BAUMANN is complete and will now undergo the usual revision stage, then editing, then polishing, then setting it aside (will I start yet another book?), then a fresh read-through with more revision and editing, and then publication. Could be ready by December 2025. Then you'll be able to see what's so funny!

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(C) Copyright 2010-2025 by Stephen M. Swartz. All Rights Reserved. No part of this blog, whether text or image, may be used without me giving you written permission, except for brief excerpts that are accompanied by a link to this entire blog. Violators shall be written into novels as characters who are killed off. Serious violators shall be identified and dealt with according to the laws of the United States of America.