Dear Humorless Vagabonds,
Allow me to entertain you with boundless comedy of a ribald nature! Behold! For I bring you a tale of the future, the future generation of the Baumann family as made famous and notorious in the FLU SEASON Saga, a series of six books detailing the survival of five generations of Baumanns. But wait! There's more!
Let us advance a couple centuries and meet a future pair of brothers born of the same mother bearing all the traits of kin past yet by different fathers. Thus the eldest brother, Rory, is shorter than the next eldest brother, Stank. Stank is Stanley K. Baumann but he goes by Stank for reasons discussed in the pages. Rory has red hair like his ancestor Bart, and Stank has dark brown hair like his ancestor Jake. Rory is a spry, clever fellow while Stank is big and strong, a professional warrior. Together they travel to the capital city of Louis.
Louis is to the west side of the kingdom of Missoura here in the year of 2353. The brothers journey there because Rory has the idea he will wed the princess. But he needs his bigger brother to get the duke out of the way, to clear the path, as it were. Being brothers, Stank is willing to see to Rory's happiness even though Rory has had many schemes in the past that didn't work out. As is common in such epic tales, many adventures ensue along the way, and even more after they arrive in Louis.
I've dared to brand this tome as a ribald comedy. Ribald meaning a tad to the naughty side of things. Comedy meaning the humor is deliberate; more than simply a normal day to day interaction between brothers and others they meet. This may not sit well with readers who like their comedy unforced. And yet, what's a good comedy without a full measure of ridiculous situations, witty wordplay, and double-takes as plot twists? I ask you!
Behold one such example of a comedic passage from a later chapter:
Rory had to think a moment. “I never have thought
to gain only the one without the other. You make me a jest?”
“Not a jest,” said Stank, glaring at him. “Not a
game, neither. I did what I had to do to bring you what you asked for.”
“What I asked for?”
“Ay, what you asked for.”
Rory glared at him. “What did I ask for?”
“You know what you asked for.”
“What was what I asked for?”
“You know you asked for what you asked for.”
“Ay, but what was it that I asked for?”
“You asked for me to confront the duke, that
Lindo fellow.”
“Ay, that one. I asked for him?”
“You asked me to remove him. That’s what you
asked for.”
“That’s what I asked for?” Rory threw up his
hands. “That duke you were supposed to offend and get him to challenge you to a
duel, then defeat him?”
“That’s what you asked for, and it’s what I
attempted.”
The comedic phrase "what I asked for" is fraught with repetition; hence, amusing in its ridiculousness. Try it: read it aloud and quickly! Trippingly so. It smacks of a Who's on First routine made famous by comedians Abbott and Costello. Other such examples exist within the story.
In another sampling, from a middling chapter, we find witty wordplay, including references made innocently within the scene yet which we from our haughty past position recognize as referencing a contemporary item or instance we know all too well.
“It may not have been what King Karl wished,”
Rory explained, “but he understood a way of life couldn’t easily be changed in
a few days – or even a few weeks. They had a city. Rules were different in a
city. Had to turncoat, wear the new rules on their sleeves.”
“So they went soft,” Stank spoke, gazing ahead
along the road.
“Ay, they lost their warrior spirit,” Rory
conceded.
“Happens to all in time,” said Stank, giving his warhorse a pat. “You fight for peace. You grow fat in peace. Then a new-born wolf
wants what you’ve gathered but you’re too besotted to defend against the
attacks.” He gave a snort. “Best build high walls while you grow old and fat,
safe within your sanctuary. Train the youngers to fight.”
“Or do like people did a couple hundred years
past,” said Rory, “hiding in the woods or going under the ground to wait for
peace.”
Stank nodded. “They were sad days.”
“A few great-grandsons later and we have a new
King Karl, who is number five or thereabouts.” Rory mugged. “He’s a softy now,
as you said. Old and fat. Lives in luxurious gowns, hair grown down to his
waist, all curly and adorned with ribbons. Always a hair-keeper at his becking
and collaring. Not a threat to any of us – lest his hair falls into disarray
and the hair-keeper cannot be found.”
“I pity the coiffeur,” Stank laughed.
The passage starts in a serious tone then little by little turns comedic as the brothers play off each other's remarks, leading us to the final declaration (of this sample), which mimics the common tag-line of the TV show The A-Team and Mr. T's famous line stating that he has 'pity for the fool'.The misspoken phrase "turncoat, wear..." may be quite normal speech in the time of the scene but we recognize it as ill-spoken vocabulary and gain amusement from the twisted words, the turning from normalcy. We then pick up the serious discussion. Until we stumble into Rory's description of the old king and his obsession with hair style. Here the phrase "becking and collaring..." harkens back to what we know as "beck and call" - hence, the misspoken becomes comedy to readers of our present age yet would be quite proper in the time of the scene. We get what those characters apparently do not.
There is more - much more - within the misadventures of these two brothers. Puns and malapropisms, alliteration and assonance, are displayed as the proper speech pattern of the capital's Court crowd. It is not archaic language; rather we find ourselves in the future, a reborn future from the seeds of a devastated civilization. Our heroes reference the history of the Baumann family from the initial pandemic horrors through to the infamous life of outlaw Bart Baumann (Book 6). They even attend a stage play based on the opera composed by Maggie Baumann (Book 5), itself based on earlier notebooks written by Sandy Baumann (Books 1, 2, and 3). In this way, all forms of humor are allowed and presented, pushed to the forefront, even as we are thrust into the strange twists of fate our characters face page upon page and down to the final sentence!
Thou may enjoyest THE WARRIORS BAUMANN coming upon the front edge of winter. Look for it on the horizon, for it needs only a fair cover to be launched into the reading universe!
---------------------------------------------------------------------
(C) Copyright 2010-2025 by Stephen M. Swartz. All Rights Reserved. No part of this blog, whether text or image, may be used without me giving you written permission, except for brief excerpts that are accompanied by a link to this entire blog.
Violators shall be written into novels as characters who are killed off. Serious violators shall be identified and dealt with according to the laws of the United States of America.
