What's this comedy thing?

Now that most people are reading THE GRANDSONS, my latest offering in the FLU SEASON  Saga and presumably the concluding volume, I find myself recently finishing a brand new novel based on the same family but set further into the future.

Funny story. As I usually do, I completed the draft of THE GRANDSONS and immediately went through the reading and revising phase until I had made it something I could live with. Then, as I typically do, I set it aside for a month. The idea is to come back and read it through again with fresh eyes. (I also send it to my beta reader during this month.)  I felt good about this latest epic, a tour-de-force if ever there was one (well, by me). It turns out to be my second-longest novel after only my EPIC FANTASY *WITH DRAGONS (in 2017).

Speaking of EF*WD, I'd been trying to make my Grand Timeline meet up with EF*WD and laid some seeds for it in THE GRANDSONS - could be merely Easter eggs that some may find. So I was joking about a story that could bridge THE GRANDSONS (set in 2155-85) and EF*WD (set c. 8000), stretched as it may be, and an idea came to me. It was only a scene, but I decided to type it out, see if it was something. Then I slept on it. I came back and wrote more, had a couple chapters written and most of a plot figured out by the time I returned to THE GRANDSONS for the fresh re-reading.

So, as I worked through THE GRANDSONS again, I started my days by writing on this new novel. This became my routine: composing new text for the new novel, then working on revision/editing on the finished novel. This went on for two months. Once THE GRANDSONS was finished and ready to launch, I had a good portion of what I was thinking then would only be a novella already complete. Even on launch day (which came unexpectedly early) I typed on the new novel. Yes, I knew it would make it to novel length. I've been promoting THE GRANDSONS even while I have the urge to talk about my newest book. It's the writer's constant conundrum.

With THE GRANDSONS out for a month already, I finally got to the end of the new book, what I've titled THE WARRIORS BAUMANN.

Now I can go full-tilt yacking about the "next" volume in the FLU SEASON series, this one set in the year 2330. From the start I felt like writing a comedy. At first, the humor was coming from the main character's reactions to the other main character's predicaments, how ridiculous it all was. Then the comedy grew chapter by chapter until I had to put myself, as author, into the final chapter, as the supreme 'meta-fiction' conceit!

The story involves a pair of rogues: Rory and Stank. Rory is the older yet shorter brother, a clever fellow; Stank (short for Stanley K. Baumann) is the younger yet much bigger brother, a warrior. We find them on the road to the capital because Rory intends to wed the princess. He needs his mighty brother to be his champion and fight a duke to clear a path for Rory. Much occurs along the road, of course, and in towns they visit along the way. The real comedy unfolds when they arrive at the capital city, known to them as Louis, set on a bluff overlooking the Missippi River. Yes, we have traveled through the savage Ozarks, crossed future medieval Missouri, with mentions of events in the past that explain how we got here.

Stank needs long hair.

While each book I've written has moments of comedy - because people will be funny, say funny things, react in quite humorous ways - this is the first novel in which I took off the reins and let my wildest imagination explode. I broke all the rules of 'good writing' to create comedic moments. 

Characters may speak using alliteration (repetition of consonant sounds, e.g. 'laughingly loose lips') especially in the capital. There is much clever wordplay and puns. Insults flung! The ridiculous situations continue as well as characters' reactions to the ridiculousness. 

For example, Rory thinks the princess will be happy to wed him because their eyes happened to meet for a moment at a public gathering, she on the balcony and he among the crowd below, a full year earlier. Stank is a loyal brother despite doubting his brother's tale. They often clash, chastise each other, joke around - more comedy! 

Could be Rory?

And, in the final dramatic turn, ridiculous situations get resolved (or not) in even more ridiculous ways. I even allow myself to become a character in one crucial scene - the very definition of 'meta-fiction' (i.e., where a creative work or its creator references itself in the work). However, in this case, in this odd tale, it works. You'll see. Believe me. 

And the origin of the dragons in EF*WD is revealed to those who have been waiting since 2017 for the information. As a "regressionist" (one who sees the future as a regression of society to an older, less technologically-driven civilization, as opposed to "progressive" or "tech-bro utopia"), I've been pushing us further down the civilization ladder across six books until we literally 'return to the future' of medieval life, this time set in Missouri.

THE WARRIORS BAUMANN is complete and will now undergo the usual revision stage, then editing, then polishing, then setting it aside (will I start yet another book?), then a fresh read-through with more revision and editing, and then publication. Could be ready by December 2025. Then you'll be able to see what's so funny!

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(C) Copyright 2010-2025 by Stephen M. Swartz. All Rights Reserved. No part of this blog, whether text or image, may be used without me giving you written permission, except for brief excerpts that are accompanied by a link to this entire blog. Violators shall be written into novels as characters who are killed off. Serious violators shall be identified and dealt with according to the laws of the United States of America.

Using Bunnies in Epic Fantasy

My writing colleagues often declare a state of "writer's block" or else request help in deciding what happens next in their stories. Just as often I suggest introducing a magic bunny. And rather more than I would like, my suggestion gets a polite chuckle and goes nowhere. It's sad, really, because bunnies (or, rabbits, in their scientific designation) offer so much in the twists and turns of a story's plot, especially in an epic fantasy.

In the early days of social media, when everyone of my friends were posting pictures of their dogs and cats, I reached point where I was feeling saturated. Then, as luck would have it, I happened to see a picture of the most cute, most perfect itty bitty bunny wabbit ever! (Look to the right->) And so I posted it, simply for its cuteness - and with contemplation of that cuteness came a certain lessening of my stress level. Little by little I sought out cute bunny pictures and posted them. I soon became known as the bunny guy, both loved and loathed - mostly loved.

Then came the dramatic tome known as EPIC FANTASY *WITH DRAGONS, which I have discussed at length here and here. Also here. (And here, if you are still curious.) Even though there are dragons in this mighty tale of daring-do, I found places where a magic bunny could make a significant contribution. After all, rabbits have a long history of portents in medieval people's lives - perhaps even further back to the dawn of bunnydom. Rabbits also have meaning associated with animal totems and sometimes serve as messengers of the gods ("More treats, please!"). Some of us place great meaning on the simplest of acts, such as "What Does It Mean When a Rabbit Crosses Your Path?" while conveniently forgetting a time long ago when mankind lived in fear of rabbits. 

But I digress.... 

I choose to use rabbits, nee bunnies, in much more wholesome roles in my Epic Fantasy novel. While always appreciated and adored, I've found bunnies work best as plot point prompts. In that capacity, they may be either a source of nourishment (if one is near starvation) or a harbinger of the future. They may also be recognized as symbols of fertility! (Recommended use: Have a bunny hop across the grass outside the bedroom chamber windows as your hero and the seductive queen begin their love making.) For further bunniness, I recommend this earlier post on this blog.

As a source of nourishment:

After some time on the trail, our hero and his cohort pick up a couple of rogues. The food they have to share is not too delicious.

    “I wish we had some drake walk across our path tonight,” said Gorral. “I need some meat. Real meat. Not this...this grandfather food, food for old men with no teeth....”

Corlan smiled at the boy.

“You need a magic bunny,” said Tam.

“What’s that?” asked Corlan. “A magic bunny?”

“Chef always said that. Whenever we would run out of food at the palace, he would pray for a bunny to appear in the garden. By magic.”

    “Did it work?”

    “Sometimes a bunny arrived just in time for dinner.”

    Corlan laughed and licked his fingers. “That would be magic.”

As a harbinger of the future:

At one point in the journey our hero and his cohort seek help from an old magus and body-stitcher, an ancient woman named Urma.

“I remember you talked about Yvella, but never said anything about Dreva. How are your powers now?”

“I haven’t gone up in flames yet.” Urma started to chuckle, then stopped herself. “Magic powers grow stronger as we count down the years. I have one-hundred-fifteen years now, with only fourteen more to live. So says the rabbit in my visions. I didn’t listen at first—who would take a rabbit seriously?—so I didn’t believe. Then she hopped ahead of me on a long trail and at each bend of the path sat a stone with my name on it, written in Luvali. Counting the stones, I came to the final number. The tally was complete. I knew then what day I shall be done with this life. That’s both a blessing and a curse.”

Furthermore, the qualities of the bunny can shed light upon a difficult situation:

In one of the interludes that together comprise a separate novella woven through the novel, we follow the adventures of a little princess and her faithful tutor as they flee the cruelty of the queen.

    “Some people, especially in the north and the east, believe we are born and we die, yes, then we are born again in a different body. It’s a great mystery. We say such people have twice-beating hearts. You could be one of them, little majesty. You are young in age yet much older inside. I have always felt that way about you, little majesty.”

    “Oh,” was the princess’s reply. “I always thought I was a bunny. I thought it was only a dream.”

    “Perhaps you were a bunny in a previous life,” said Jabuli.

    “If it’s true, I don’t remember it much. Vegetables is all. Lots and lots of vegetables.”

    “Do you still like vegetables?”

    “Oh, yes!”

    “Then perhaps it is true.” She smiled. “Now you are a princess.”

    Adora pouted. “I think I prefer being a bunny.”

    “Unless a dragon comes to eat you,” said Jabuli.

    “No, not then.” The princess watched the hillside, marked the city in the distance, the strait and the island beyond. “This is the farthest I have ever been from my slumber chamber. I never knew a world like this existed. It was only written on parches.”

In an earlier work of mine, THE DREAM LAND TRILOGY, I also used rabbits. In Book III, at a time of warfare, the opposing armies used giant war rabbits and battle hamsters, ridden by pilots and laser-archers. The beasts truly won the field that day! However, it is best to keep rabbits to a normal size and healthy disposition. Or else we might all succumb to the terror of the Middle Ages.

Not quite as I depicted them in THE DREAM LAND Book III, but...still impressive!

Therefore, when stuck in one's writing, always consider a bunny to liven things up. Fear not the hubris of old nor the salivation of culinary quislings, for it is only with the Zen of Bun that one may go forth with renewed vigor to face the world, a world which is often inhabited by decidedly unbunny-like dragons!


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(C) Copyright 2010-2017 by Stephen M. Swartz. All Rights Reserved. No part of this blog, whether text or image, may be used without me giving you written permission, except for brief excerpts that are accompanied by a link to this entire blog. Violators shall be written into novels as characters who are killed off. Serious violators shall be identified and dealt with according to the laws of the United States of America.

Three stories we are sick of...

As we touch the mid-point of the spring season, I am reminded of three things: 

1) Put away everything of value so the next tornado cannot blow it all far and wide.

2) It's too late to plant that garden so no reason to get out the tools, seeds, and fertilizer.

3) The book writing business is not suitable for man nor beast, so why bother? 

Right away I will likely get rebuttals. Some may ask why I stay in this gods-forsaken alley of wind and I bluntly repeat "The Day Job! The Day Job!" Others may decry my sniveling rant as an affront to the precious Gaea and her bouncing bosom, an excuse the lazy pull out whenever it suits then, green thumbs or not. And there are those who would chastise me for supposed Puritan vanity, as though only my books suffered the outrageous slingshots and arrows of cliches. Enough said then!

Throughout this new year, I have been able to ascertain there are three stories, types of stories, or story memes retold that nobody is willing to welcome any longer, and henceforth should be exiled to the dustpins of hosiery! Here they are in all of their unspoken glory--and beware the variations, too.

The love story. Emotional linkage. Moreover, two young romantics slathering over each other. Worse yet if one of them is of some special, protected category such as ghost, gremlin, zombie, homeboy, vampire, wolfboy, fairy, fairytale meme, or English teacher. It is enough that we recognize that people have this flaw, this need for completion, this urge to copulate with another person or "person"; must the rest of us read all about it? see it splayed open across the grand screen? discuss it through the night on social media, as though it were a traditional recipe for disaster? Sure, we have the so-called "anti-romance"--but isn't that just another sheep of another color than black? Let them do what they do in private and leave the rest of us alone, thank you very much. 

Variation: The love story set in a dystopian society where good is evil and black is white and everyone is out to get everyone else because that is the way of the world and nobody is better or worse than anyone else and the equal ones are slightly more equal than the others who are not. Often they must play a game to determine who is most equal.

Example. A Beautiful Chill, an oft-repeated cliche of campus unions and reunions where Art and Letters rejoice in depravity unyielding up to the final revelation of slaughter. Woe is me, sayeth the love-lorn Author. (Credit for keeping it real; that is, on Earth and in modern times.)

The discovery of a new world. In this avenue I would add all the usual doorway, portal, gateway, wardrobe, tunnel, and wormhole stories where one of "us" goes somewhere else and woo-hoo it's almost like where we came from or it's quite different and aren't we amazed! And what does our hero/heroine do there? Exploit the darn place to within an inch of its lifeline! Such stories have been foisted upon us as warnings of what we have become or what we shall or might become if we do not pay attention, pay through the nose, or pay the first-born child of every family in debt to our fanatical financials and lords of leisure! And yet we take no heed and continue to fall into our dubious inheritance. No more! "If it ain't here, it ain't real," quoth one long-lost quotation master. Who should care for a world of pure invention?

Variation: The parallel universe, the time travel story, the dystopian tale--all of them poor representations of the main theme, all relying on our knowledge of our existing set of circumstances in order to make pun of all that we hold close to us and dreary. They mean to trick you. Smoke and mirrors, just smoke and mirrors. Mind not the poor excuse that is what you have now, for life could be far, far worse over there.

Example: The Dream Land, a lengthy tome [read 'trilogy'] ostensibly of interdimensional [read 'doorway, portal, etc.'] intrigue [read 'political skulduggery'], alien romance [see above complaint], and world domination [yet not, thankfully, in a sexual bondage sort of depravity]. Too many giant war rabbits to my liking.

The medieval family clash. As a variation on new worlds is the old world meme. I speak here of our vainglorious return to the days of yore as they stick in our craw and decay forthwith. Either said stories are poor recreations of history mismanaged or they are faux pas histories which serve only the purpose of greasepaint stages of perversity. Need we more of that? There is good reason those days of yore are done, and none too soon: we who represent the greater good in our species are simply too embarrassed by what we are capable of bestowing upon our peers. While we may wish to relive the highlights and even selected lowlifes, the sum total of all our aspirations is a rousing return to that which never was and cannot be all in the name of trying it again for the better and falling, indeed, crashing from great dragon-borne heights to the fire-pit below! Then we know the mirror has finally broken and we lie splintered and bleeding.

Variation: The story that hides in a return to mythological creations and through them and their unfolding narrativity seek to impress us with the drudgery of life in those ancient days. Be glad of the life you have now and forget those of long ago. Yet such creatures and the winsome gods and goddesses themselves make for poor judges of our tastes today. Be not fooled or made a fool!

Example: After Ilium, where the narrative necessarily parallels the standard liturgy yet is viewed through the rose-colored lenses of a neophyte (often called 'the lucky loser') for the purpose of excising emotional dewing from unwary readers. Quite dubious in the depiction of an infamous battle. The major sex scene is a fruit basket of delights, however.


Solution. Seek not for such misguided diversions but instead search out only the fair and acceptable solutions to the diversions you crave, for they do exist. Break free and live a life beneath a tree, in the fields of the locust, all barefoot and squishy, with fluffy-bunny clouds overhead and the wind in your hair, like all good little munchkins who have survived remakes of wizard-themed films. And if that fails you, then there likely is little hope; you might as well embrace your day job (night, whatever) with hardy gusto, for you are not worthy of being entertained by the likes of we. Good day to you, Sir!


[The preceding was discovered by a couple of lovers whilst they sojourned on a newly discovered world after reading about ancient wars and played a game of trumps. Authorship has yet escaped confirmation. It is presented here solely for amusement, for it has no other discernable use.]



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(C) Copyright 2010-2014 by Stephen M. Swartz. All Rights Reserved. No part of this blog, whether text or image, may be used without me giving you written permission, except for brief excerpts that are accompanied by a link to this entire blog. Violators shall be written into novels as characters who are killed off. Serious violators shall be identified and dealt with according to the laws of the United States of America.