Showing posts with label dream land trilogy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label dream land trilogy. Show all posts

19 December 2013

13 reasons to enter the Dream Land

Late at night, or more often early in the morning, I have nagging doubts about the meaning of the Dream Land. The title seems at once somewhat vague and suggestively poignant. Is it just a story where the hero awakens at the end only to discover the whole trilogy has been a dream? Absolutely not!

Sure, there's a lot of playing of that theme, back and forth along the border between reality and...umm, what we might as well call "dream" for lack of a juicier word. What could be wrong with juxtaposing reality, or one reality with another reality? And then what is so awful about calling one of those two realities "The Dream Land"? 


So The Dream Land trilogy is a story about reality...and another reality. While looking for a secluded spot to make-out one summer, two young people discover an abandoned quarry with an odd phenomena. When the circumstances are just right, a point of light marks the spot where the reality of Earth (and the quarry itself, which is to the east side of Kansas City, Missouri, USA) can be pried open to reveal the other reality: what the natives call Ghoupallesz, a planet much like Earth but 101 light-years distance if one bothered to travel by spacecraft.



Anyway...what do these two young people, Sebastian and Gina, do there? Being scientific-minded geeks, they study the place, learn all about it, gradually fit in, eventually function there like it was their own world of Earth. But things are different enough that Gina wants to stay, wants to make it her home forever. Sebastian, the younger of the two, is hesitant to stay, remembering what awaits him back on Earth: his scholarship to college and a career in science. So he returns. 

But there is a bug set inside him that keeps him returning through the "tear in the air" at that quarry and having his own adventures there. One time he is forced to join an army during a war. Another time he meets a beautiful woman and has an affair. Another trip, he marries her, has children, does his best work as commander of a cavalry regiment--where the animals they ride seem a cross between donkeys and rabbits. He has a knack for getting into trouble, of course--Gina recognized that. Despite that, he manages to return and rescue Gina time and again from her adventures. 



Still, they do not, cannot remain together; each must partake separate journeys, it seems. And that is where our trilogy begins. Sebastian is stuck at a third-shift clerk job at the IRS service center when he feels the familiar sensations of a cosmic calling from Gina. He knows what comes next but it has been a while since he last walked through the interdimensional doorway. But Gina is his Long-lost Love, his soulmate, so he must go and, if necessary, save her. Simple enough, right? 

First, he must get through the doorway, then round up some of his former soldiers to form a team of mercenaries. Then he was lead them across the towering Zet mountains and enter the plateau kingdom of Zetin, sneak into the castle of the Zetin warlord and free Gina from wherever she might be held in the castle. And then get out. For this mission, he must put away his pencils and adding machine....

I must leave you hanging, of course. I am not allowed to leave spoilers just laying about.

That was Book I, a sprawling epic of twin universes and choices with no easy options, and all the magic and terror of alternate reality. In Book II, the adventures of Sebastian continue as he tries to right wrongs and undo evil. You can probably guess that he actually makes things worse. Hence, the need for Book III.

I loved inventing this story, creating the characters (yes, some based on people I've known), and molding the world of Ghoupallesz into a playground of devilish delights and angelic horrors. Playing with words is what I am happiest doing. And I hope you enjoy the result. Tell your friends and family; invite them into the Dream Land too!



Oh, wait! I promised thirteen reasons to enter the Dream Land, didn't I? Sorry; got carried away....


1. Science-fiction on an epic scale: two worlds and a cast of millions.
2. Steampunk and cyberpunk duelling for control of your mind.
3. Geek romance (PG-13 in Book I and II, borderline R in Book III).
4. Old fashion chivalry versus New Age feminism--see which will win!
5. Strange flora and fauna...what would you expect on another planet?

6. Explore the weird lives of third-shift IRS service center workers.
7. Relive the 1980s: the music, cars, fashion, hair styles, attitudes, historic events.
8. Sweeping battles, military strategy, manly manliness, blood and guts.
9. Existential angst.
10. Alien marriage customs!
11. How to use exotic drugs for pleasure and pain.
12. Interspecies romance (mostly in Book III).
13. How to deal with a fatal comet (Book III), politically, socially and technologically.


For Kindle (also in paperback):

US links:

UK links:


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(C) Copyright 2010-2013 by Stephen M. Swartz. All Rights Reserved. No part of this blog, whether text or image, may be used without me giving you written permission, except for brief excerpts that are accompanied by a link to this entire blog. Violators shall be written into novels as characters who are killed off. Serious violators shall be identified and dealt with according to the laws of the United States of America.

07 July 2013

The Metaphysics of Pizza

It's really very simple. If you have sworn allegiance to an organization whose prime purpose is to change history, then you have to stay flexible.

You might have to do any number of things. Even change it back, or change it in a different way than originally done. You may have to stop your colleague from changing something. That may require violence. Are you prepared to be violent? Probably you will be asked to affect your violence in either the mantle of Chaos or Order. But not both. And almost certainly, you will be offered pizza.

The lesson here is whenever you sign up with a mercenary outfit, be sure it is one in which pizza is served.

Excerpt from THE DREAM LAND Book II "Dreams of Future's Past" illustrates the sublime cosmological effects of pizza:

“It seems strange, Kanê,” Erutên-Vigasz spoke, sitting next to the Captain, “that we discuss who to kill over a meal of this round food. Is there meaning to your selection?”
The Captain grinned. “There is always meaning—to everything.” He motioned to the box on the floor at their feet. “See that box? It is square, suggesting conformity—rectangularity is hardly seen in nature—there is also restriction, limits. Yet, inside is the pizza: round, suggesting symmetry and order.”
Erutên nodded, thoughtfully.
“Why not put a square pizza in a square box?” the Captain continued. “Or a round pizza in a round box? The answer is simple: it is easier to make a square box than a round box. Folding cardboard leans to perpendicularity. To make a box one must work from the outer edges and fold inward. Conversely, it is easier to make a round pizza than a square pizza. The dough of the pizza begins from its center, a swirling ball of dough, then a disk that expands outward evenly as the creator whirls it around its axis. To then stretch out the disk, the circle, to fill the corners of a square pan or a square box requires unnatural action. It is natural, hence universal, for the roundness to remain.”
Others were now following the discussion.
“And yet, there, too, is a lesson to be learned! These forces, the squareness and roundness, are always working together and working against each other: chaos and order—one is always moving toward and becoming the other, constantly in flux, ever always changing, never fixed or satisfied, always seeking balance. Someday, while in flux, chaos will reach a point halfway to becoming order and at the exact same moment order will reach a point where it is halfway to becoming chaos, and both forces will swirl around each other and become one: neither order nor chaos, neither chaos nor order, but a singularity of multiplicity where all that ever was has been reduced to all that ever will be! Thus, all matter in the universe will become a microscopic dot too small for the smallest microbe to notice in the far corner of its jelly—so much smaller than the germ of a germ of a germ’s germ. And then, it could only be a mirror image and not an actual microbe—which would, of course, be contained in that germy dot—if all matter were compressed into the shape of a pizza, round not square.”

“I see,” sighed Erutên. “It is very cosmical, what you say. This world is—how you say?—interesting. I should like to learn more.”



THE DREAM LAND Book II "Dreams of Future's Past" . . . with or without pizza!


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(C) Copyright 2010-2013 by Stephen M. Swartz. All Rights Reserved. No part of this blog, whether text or image, may be used without me giving you written permission, except for brief excerpts that are accompanied by a link to this entire blog. Violators shall be written into novels as characters who are killed off. Serious violators shall be identified and dealt with according to the laws of the United States of America.

07 June 2013

Introducing THE DREAM LAND Book II "Dreams of Future's Past"

Those of you who have been eagerly anticipating Book II of THE DREAM LAND Trilogy need anticipate no longer. It is here...er, well, over there at that Amazon place as a Kindle ebook. First things first, right? Let me catch my breath and I'll get started on the print edition as well as return to finishing Book III.



Some music fans will note the title of this novel "Dreams of Future's Past" and associate it with a music album by the Moody Blues. You would be correct. You may also complain that my title is not the same as theirs. You would correct again. While I liked the idea behind the title of their album enough to borrow it (and my book's original title was "Days..." rather than "Dreams..."), the exact phrasing they used did not quite fit the time travel idea of Book II. So I took some authorial license, with apologies to the Moody Blues, and changed it. You might also be delighted by how many Moody Blues references you can find in THE DREAM LAND Trilogy.



Here is a brief description:


When you conquer a new world, do you change its history or change yourself?
After his adventures in Book I, Sebastian Talbot (a.k.a. Set-d’Elous, legendary warrior) has exiled himself to a desolate island, content to laze away the days writing his memoir. Until the emissary from Queen Tammy arrives with a mission he cannot refuse. Tammy, the IRS clerk he took to Ghoupallesz in Book I, wants him to fetch the son she left on Earth. How could she return for him? She married the King of Aivana.

That mission raises desperate questions for Sebastian: If he can go back and forth through these interdimensional doorways and arrive in different time periods, perhaps he can do something to prevent the big war he fought through, the war that destroyed his family and millions of others. He returns to his Ghoupalle wife Zaura in the years he was previously away. While on patrol duty, he comes upon a young poetess he knows will become the rebel leader who helps overthrow the monarchy and causes the wars. What would you do?

Meanwhile, back on Earth in another timeline, Sebastian awakens from a coma and is helped in his recovery by Dr. Toni Franck. An affair develops—just as his opportunity for escape comes along. Later, as Sebastian/Set escorts teams of mercenaries back and forth to conduct their history-changing business, he tries to meet up with Toni again only to realize the police are still in pursuing him. Desperate to see her, he arranges a meeting only to have a SWAT team show up, cornering him. Can he escape through an interdimensional doorway this time?


THE DREAM LAND Trilogy continues in Book II with parallel time lines, world domination and alien romance, and as always the minutia of heroic minds playing god without a rule book. Cheer or jeer--it's up to you!

*     *     *

Take your first trip to the other side with THE DREAM LAND Book I "Long Distance Voyager"!



Then follow the further misadventures of absent-minded romantic hero Sebastian Talbot in THE DREAM LAND Book II "Dreams of Future's Past"!

And Book III "Diaspora" is well underway and should be coming out in December 2013 or early in 2014.


*     *     *

If you are new to THE DREAM LAND environment, let me offer you a description of Book I which should give you a sense of the overall story:

How far would you go to save the love of your life? Through a portal to another world?

Sebastian, that quiet tax examiner at the corner desk in the IRS service center, carries a dark secret: once upon a time he and his high school sweetheart Gina found a rip in the universe and stepped through it to a strange world of magical beauty.  
 
Far from being a Disney-esque playground, the world of Ghoupallesz bursts with cosmopolitan elegance, alien perversions, and political strife. Gina, the adventurous one, falls in love with the adventurous possibilities. Not Sebastian; always practical, he insists they return to Earth. Gina refuses so he goes back alone, vowing never to return. Yet he finds himself drawn back repeatedly--he calls it “research”--and often crosses paths with Gina. Sometimes he saves her, sometimes she saves him, forever soul mates. 
 
Now years later, life on Earth hasn’t gone well for Sebastian. Then the headaches revisit him, with flashes of memories from Ghoupallesz. Gina is in trouble again, he senses, and he must, as always, save her. Meanwhile, a pair of too-curious IRS co-workers have accidently overdosed on the Elixir of Love he brought back on his last trip and the antidote exists only on Ghoupallesz. With these co-workers in tow, Sebastian returns through the interdimensional portal, fearing it may be his final adventure. He must gather his old comrades from the war, cross the towering Zet mountains, and free Gina from the Zetin warlord’s castle before her execution. Perhaps then she will stay with him.  
 
But are his adventures to the other side real? Or are they just the dreams of a psychotic killer? That’s what the police want to know when Sebastian returns without his co-workers.  
 
THE DREAM LAND is a genre-mashing epic of interdimensional intrigue and police procedural, a psychological thriller marbled with twisted humor, steampunk pathos, and time/space conundrums.


Here is a review of THE DREAM LAND on the Connie J. Jaspersen's Best in Fantasy Blog and Carlie Cullen's blog.



THE DREAM LAND Trilogy 
is published by



in association with

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(C) Copyright 2010-2013 by Stephen M. Swartz. All Rights Reserved. No part of this blog, whether text or image, may be used without me giving you written permission, except for brief excerpts that are accompanied by a link to this entire blog. Violators shall be written into novels as characters who are killed off. Serious violators shall be identified and dealt with according to the laws of the United States of America.

29 May 2013

Do you remember the war that never happened?

For the past few weeks I've been foisting excerpts from THE DREAM LAND Book III "Diaspora" onto my dear, overly patient readers and followers.

During those weeks I was working hard on that novel, driven by the fire that only a really hot muse can light. Finally got to tell some of Gina Parton's story: how many ways the world can go crazy as a comet approaches. I charged through the climactic scenes and cruised into the epilogue on Monday, essentially completing the main plot line of the novel.

Now I will go back and add the subplot scenes to fill it out; most of those will be continuing and wrapping up the stories from THE DREAM LAND Book II "Dreams of Future's Past"--which ironically is the topic of this week's bloggerette.


Here's a summary of Book II for those of you who like the short versions. In THE DREAM LAND Book I "Long Distance Voyager" the final Act is a "mission" and Book II is no different. However, I must leave off the spoilers from this summary. Sorry.

It will be out for Kindle in June 2013.



THE DREAM LAND
Book II : “Dreams of Future’s Past”
Synopsis

[The following complete synopsis originally had portions blacked out because the text contained "spoilers"; the black boxes have been removed now that the ebook is available.]

After his adventures in Book I, Sebastian Talbot (a.k.a. Set-d’Elous, legendary warrior and Sekuatean cavalry regiment captain) has exiled himself to a desolate island, content to laze away the days and write his memoir. Until the emissary from Queen Tammy of Aivana arrives with a mission he cannot refuse. Tammy, former IRS clerk who he took to Ghoupallesz along with Michael in Book I, wants him to go fetch her son, Chuck junior, who she left on Earth when she did not return but married the King of Aivana. That king eventually died and she married Sebastian’s friend, the mechanical wizard Jason.
Sebastian reluctantly returns to Earth and coaxes Chucker (“Chuck R. Tucker”) back to Aivana where mother and son are reunited. Mission accomplished. However, on the way back to his island he stops in his favorite city, Selauê, and reminisces with a man who was his military colleague during the wars. He realizes that he would change all of that period in history if he could. He also regrets missing ten years with his Ghoupalle wife, Zaura, when he returned to Earth for a brief visit that turned out to be longer on Ghoupallesz. Zaura thought him dead and remarried; their brief reunion was tragic even though they were able to reunite still later, thanks to his fellow Interdimensional Voyager, Gina Parton, a.k.a. Jinetta, Queen of Fenula.
Meanwhile, Sebastian awakens from a coma in a hospital for the criminally insane and becomes the patient of Dr. Toni Franck, psychiatrist. Evidently, he did not escape to Ghoupallesz at the end of Book I but was shot by police. Now he is recovering; Dr. Franck comes to believe his story of traveling to another world might be true rather than his fantasy. The detective Chuck McElroy (ex-husband of Tammy, father of Chucker) is investigating him, however, and befriends Dr. Franck to get information; they date but he is not a gentleman and she tries to break it off with him. Chuck pushes her against the desk and she gets a concussion, falls into a coma; he releases Sebastian and urges him to escape just so he can pursue him and kill the killer of his ex-wife Tammy (who is alive and well on Ghoupallesz).  Sebastian arrives at the quarry where the interdimensional doorway exists and Chuck follows him through the doorway.
Chuck finds himself in the Aivana desert and when Sebastian tells him to retrace his steps and return to Earth, Chuck takes it as a challenge. Sebastian walks off to begin a new life while Chuck eventually is captured by desert nomads and taken away to be sold into slavery. Sebastian realizes his good fortune: he has returned to the ten years he missed living with Zaura and pretends to be someone new; they marry and he rejoins the regiment. Life is good, even though he will need to leave before his previous self can return to resume life with her.
Sebastian as Set-d’Elous is sent with his regiment to the northern district for autumn harvest patrol. There he meets a youthful Basura-Kanoun who he knows will grow up to become leader of a rebel group that eventually sparks revolution and becomes the new government of Sekuate. He weighs the morality of killing one to save millions. He chooses; along with that choice he must also vanish from his life with Zaura they have had for eight years. He knows that what he has done is for the greater good. His friend Jason does not agree. They argue and Set-d’Elous runs off to his island once more to hide from the world.
Meanwhile, Chuck suffers at the hands of his captors—until they understand that he “belongs” to Queen Tammy. They change plans, wanting to get a reward for returning her slave. Then a storm kills all but the youngest nomad, who mends his wounds. They become a team, making their way to civilization, playing the role of slave and slave master when needed. When they encounter a couple of bandits, Chuck comes alive and kills them to save his new buddy, the young nomad who saved him earlier. Reaching civilization but afraid to be seen by Tammy, Chuck and the nomad set up a domestic partnership.
At the same time, Tammy’s son Chucker learns the ways of Ghoupallesz from his new step-father Jason. They take a Youth Trek, a custom for young men. Jason teaches Chucker yet their journey turns to finding what happened to Michael Fenning, who had been involved with Tammy before. Last they heard Michael had abandoned his treatment for overdosing on the elixir of love moussalaganê and took off with his nurses, then went on alone whoring and gambling and being a playboy across the countries of Gotanka, the northern region of the continent of Zissekap. Finally, they track Michael to a clinic for the terminally ill and Chucker confronts Michael about what he did to Tammy.
Chucker, maturing beyond his years while on Ghoupallesz, goes to Sebastian’s/Set’s island to get answers to his questions. Set explains everything; then he leads Chucker back to Aivana without ever crossing the sea, just by using the interdimensional doorways. In Aivana, Chucker resumes his training to be a prince but Set discovers evidence that what he did in killing Basura-Kanoun has had odd effects on history. The war never happened but his own family suffered different, perhaps worse fate. He and Chucker realize they must change what was changed before to correct the mistake in history. Of course, Set cannot go do it himself—he can’t stop himself—so someone else must take on the mission. They form a mercenary group called History, Inc. and plan what to do.
Sebastian/Set begins having hallucinations of wartime, only they do not exactly fit what he remembers. His team of mercenaries goes through the right interdimensional doorways to arrive at the correct time period to meet his previous self and stop him from killing Basura-Kanoun. The mission goes wrong and a Plan B is initiated to correct the mistaken mission to undo the first change!
Meanwhile, Dr. Franck awakens from her coma and starts a new life with a son who was born while she was unconscious. She maintains the father is her former patient Sebastian/Set. While Set is on Earth to direct the latest mission of History, Inc., he discovers her story and contacts her. They make plans to meet but the police are monitoring the calls and plan to intercept him. He escaped from the criminal hospital, after all, and he is still blamed for the deaths of his IRS co-workers as well as the attack on Dr. Franck which she denies was him.
As the History team makes its move, Sebastian/Set attends the Royal Audience in Aivana but leaves just as Chuck arrives to reclaim Tammy and terrorists follow him in with bombs. The explosions blast Tammy and Chuck back to Earth and Chucker also to somewhere else. For Sebastian/Set, it seems to match the explosion of the propane tank at the old, abandoned house he was going to meet Dr. Franck at. It was surrounded by a SWAT team; Dr. Franck did not meet him and whether or not he escaped is uncertain.
Sebastian/Set awakens in bed with a woman in an elegant hotel room; he thinks he’s in Paris on vacation with Dr. Toni Franck, reunited at last. But it turns out he is someone of importance: a personal assistant comes to dress him and lead him through his busy schedule. The woman in the bed is Basura-Kanoun, not Toni Franck. Not wanting to alarm any of his handlers, he plays along, trying to figure out how he ended up in this strange new scenario.  Gathering enough information, it finally dawns on him that he is the emperor—the Emperor of Sekuate! Not only did he not prevent the wars, he became the emperor who initiated them. He tries to find a way to escape before he must give a caustic speech to the assembled representative at an international conference. Biding his time in a waiting room, his entourage is attacked by a team of assassins: Sebastian/Set is shot and falls through a window, down to the plaza below—except he does not hit the plaza stones. He falls through time, back to that moment when he remeets the young Basura-Kanoun and instead of killing her agrees to marry her...thus setting in motion the timeline that we have just read.


So...what if there was a war and then somebody changed something and there wasn't a war? Would those who lived through it still have memories? Would those people be called crazy?


You can get started on Book I "Long Distance Voyager" 

THE DREAM LAND Book III "Diaspora" 
will be available perhaps as soon as December 2013.
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(C) Copyright 2010-2013 by Stephen M. Swartz. All Rights Reserved. No part of this blog, whether text or image, may be used without me giving you written permission, except for brief excerpts that are accompanied by a link to this entire blog. Violators shall be written into novels as characters who are killed off. Serious violators shall be identified and dealt with according to the laws of the United States of America.

21 April 2013

Are you ready for [ahem] evacuation?

April 22 is Earth Day, a day for...well, at least being aware of the fragile beauty of our world and perhaps, for the more ambitious among us, doing something tangible to maintain or improve the world around us, like planting a tree, starting a garden, mowing the lawn, going vegan, whatever strikes your fancy and doesn't hurt anyone. (I know that's a long sentence, but it is grammatically correct and syntactically plausible, so I'll let it stand.)

On the theme of Earth Day, what could be more closely related to the Earth than earth itself? More specifically soil. Yet more specifically, night soil. And what we do with it. Still more specifically, what we do with it when we have left the Earth for the void. That's a clever segue to a discussion of space toilets. And THAT is a clever segue to an excerpt from THE DREAM LAND Book III.

The final act of the novel involves the preparations for a planet-wide evacuation and thus the construction of interstellar space vessels. Our heroine Gina (a.k.a. Jinetta-d'Elous), having studied rocket science back on Earth before she found the interdimensional doorway that has led to her lifelong adventures on the planet Ghoupallesz, was appointed to oversee the evacuation program. At that time there were only 31 years remaining until a comet would strike the planet. Not everyone is in agreement on what to do but most are going along with the evacuation plans.

Needless to say, having no direct experience or knowledge of space toilets, research was required to be able to present a plausible case for one particular design I'm now offering to NASA free of charge. (Some, though not all, of the follow excerpt benefited from my reading of Mary Roach's book Packing for Mars, which quite adequately [or more than adequately, depending on how squeamish a reader might be] covered the problems of defecation in zero-gravity, as well as other things nobody with a standard plumbing system ever ponders.

Excerpt from THE DREAM LAND Book III "Diaspora":

In Sanduu the toilets were coming along very well. That was something to be pleased about, at least.
Gina was walked through the plant for the inspection, even got to test one of them—without an actual deposit.
“So I just squat on top of this pipe?” she asked, removing her green and blue kaftan. One of her assistants held up the opened kaftan as a kind of curtain.
The space toilet consisted of a long tube rising like an elephant’s trunk from the floor of a closet-sized capsule barely large enough for a normal-sized adult to stand upright within. The upper end was open and featured a slightly wider lip coated in ceramic. The person using the device lowered his or her back end directly down upon the ceramic ring. The oblong opening in the center of the ring, being less than the width of a human hand, made precise placement crucial. A tight seal needed to be maintained because of the suction involved. As the exiting material was released from the body, the suction within the tube would remove it completely from the person’s orifice and the tube. Jets of disinfectant would follow down the tube from the underside of the ceramic ring. For urination, the reverse position was to be used. However, that presented problems when the same device was switched on. Suction! Gentlemen needed to be cognizant of the g-forces applied to their family orbs. Ladies needed to be aware of the possible stretching effects of the suction upon their fleshy nether regions, as well.
“Can it be adjusted according to a person’s tolerance?” Gina asked quite seriously once she had hooked up her kaftan again.
“There is only one setting,” said First Director of Aerospace Toiletry Services Rogar-Tolourus. “We expect to give lessons on the proper way to sit on the device. As you can see, in the forward-facing position, a male would not have the capacity there for the orbs to slip into the tube. Not even width for accidental slippage. Females would be more at risk since...because of their...parts.”
“Could a supplemental panel be added to the ceramic ring or held in place by the user so as to restrict the area that is submitted to suction?”
“Most definitely,” said Tolourus. “Nobody wants bodily materials floating about the cabin area willy-nilly.”
Gina had to smile. She instantly translated in her head his phrase as ‘willy-nilly’ and was amused at her choice of words. Sauresk meant ‘haphazardly’ in Ghoupallêan, which was the word he had spoken, yet somehow discussing bodily fluids was better served using ‘willy-nilly.’ Poor willy. All the poor willies subjected to that suction, she thought. And the poor nillies of each female crew member!
“So each crew member must place his or her fleshy parts directly against the ceramic ring to maintain the suction area?”
“Yes, that’s it.”
“Is there any provision for disinfecting the ceramic ring between users?”
“Oh, yes. We thought of that.” Tolourus grinned like he did when she first removed her kaftan to test the toilet. “After the user has exited the cubicle and confirmed the closure of the hatch, there is a switch he or she presses which starts a process of irradiation. That kills all life forms within the cubicle.”
“I understand.”
“The irradiation takes about a pon so no one may use the toilet until the irradiation process is finished.”
Tolourus seemed quite proud of their product. It did the job, took minimal space, was self-cleaning, and could be fitted into any model of vessel.
“And where does it all go?” she asked, returning to a straight face.
“The suction prevents the material from escaping into the cabin environment, of course.”
He waved his hand in front of his face as though trying to expel a bad smell. She was momentarily offended. Never mind that she had boldly squatted before them to test the device.
“The materials are pulled down the tube and remain in a holding tank. From there, they are treated with appropriate chemicals and can then be used as fertilizer in the on-board garden units.”
It was beginning to make sense to her why the Sanduu facility was charged with constructing both spaceship toilets and food production units.
“If the holding tank should become full,” Tolourus explained, a little giddy, “the excess can be jettisoned into space.”
“Such a welcoming card,” she muttered with a smirk. She regarded the others in the inspection team. None were amused. “However, it is necessary. Better the feces and urine burn up being bombarded by gamma rays than staying aboard to freshen the air.”
They chuckled.
“Speaking of gamma rays,” Tolourus spoke, “I read your report. It was news to me—indeed, to many of us in the toiletry science community—yet we know the seriousness of preventing...that kind of radiation. So...given our work with various kinds of fecal matter, I believe we may have a solution.”
Gamma radiation, with its highly charged photons, could easily penetrate the walls of a spacecraft and over time do great harm to the humans inside. Building stronger vessel outer skin did not seem to be the answer. She had always considered a layer of lead in her vessel designs. Nor could she imagine a crew living inside lead-shielded flight suits for many years. The best that could be done was to reduce the effect of gamma radiation by half. Granite or concrete seemed to work well, but she could not believe a granite spacecraft would get off the ground. Right now, her job was less about how many people survived to reach their destination than getting them off this planet in time.
“There is an empty interval between the outer and inner walls of the vessel, right?”
She nodded.
“We can pack it with ordinary soil. In fact, we have a unique clay here in Sanduu that would be perfect for that purpose. And when it shifts or a gap becomes detected, it can be filled with run-off from the toilet holding tanks.”
“You want to fill the walls of our space vessels with shit?”
“According to your calculations—most impressive, by the way, for someone who is not an expert in the field of fecal properties—such organic materials should absorb the radiation, thereby reducing it. When the material should be deemed saturated, it could be flushed out into space and restocked with fresh...”
“Fresh shit.”
“Exactly.”
“So we will be out there cruising in our spaceshit?”
It wasn’t complicated. She took the word for ‘shit’ (ush) and added it to the word invented for ‘spacecraft’ (xænafi) to form the word xænush.
“Yes, ma’am,” said Tolourus and everyone laughed.
Then someone broke wind.
“Don’t worry,” said Tolourus, “there will be adequate ventilation on board the vessels.”



A quick search of "space toilet" yields more than enough pictures of, for example, the Space Shuttle apparatus (above). Note the two grips for the constipated astronaut to keep his or her balance in zero-gravity. Note the plethora of hoses and tubing for complete transportation of the evacuated materials. There is plenty of ceramic surface for minimal buttock comfort, too, far more than the Sanduu Toiletworks is producing.


Not too sure what this device would leave behind, however, one wonders just how one could resist giving up anything and everything once fixed into the position. Oh, the imagination of sci-fi artists!




For short trips of the up to orbit and back variety, astronauts need only a reliable pair of diaper pants. Very similar to the smaller sized "big boy" pants marketed by diaper companies. They are undetectable beneath spacesuits, to prevent embarrassment, of course.

Watch what you eat!


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(C) Copyright 2010-2013 by Stephen M. Swartz. All Rights Reserved. No part of this blog, whether text or image, may be used without me giving you written permission, except for brief excerpts that are accompanied by a link to this entire blog. Violators shall be written into novels as characters who are killed off. Serious violators shall be identified and dealt with according to the laws of the United States of America.

15 April 2013

The Social Side of Annihilation...

Most science-fiction writers I've read deal with the hardware. You know, the spaceships, the propulsion systems, environmental issues, hydroponic gardens, and so forth. Or they deal with the possibilities of finding and settling inhabitable planets, with or without native inhabitants to deal with. Few, it seems to me, deal with the social issues. In this day and age of social networking, especially, it seems natural to try to understand how people might react when the news hits the fan that Mr. Comet is coming soon and he is not happy.

Excerpt from THE DREAM LAND Book III:

Our heroine, Gina, has been appointed to oversee the international project to construct interplanetary vessels, yet not everyone is in agreement with the plan....

 “I’m surprised,” said Gina, brushing her hair out of her face, “you can be so easily bought with a few hours of such a natural activity as standard intercourse.”
“I would vote for your plan no matter how we spent the night,” said Vazak--Buffalo Bob, the ambassador from Erit who wore the big furry hat.
She had called him ‘Buffalo Bob’ a couple times during the night, when in her ecstasy she could no longer hold back speaking English. He had questioned her about the name, thinking she called him a kind of drug, something called bôb. Then he had offered her a mauve-bôb for her amusement, a rare treat that left her unusually energetic on the qala. Vazak, on the other hand, being broad-shouldered and hairy, made the qala swing dangerously from one wall to the opposite wall. In the morning, when he sat on the edge of the qala, the hammock-style bed tipped down to the floor. Gina had rolled down against him and they had laughed together.
“So it’s not a matter of tricking laborers,” she told him as she lay stroking his curly brown back hair, “it’s a matter of persuasion. We are asking them to deny themselves, to give up their own reward, to give away their individuality not out of hatred or bias or a lack of value, but to accept the full knowledge of what their choice, their sacrifice, means for the entire species.”
“You make sex talk enlightening,” said Vazak with a bass rumble. “I agree with you, Kalmonê.”
“No more Kalmonê, I said.”
He grunted, feeling the pain in his head of a night with no sleep, considerations of regret dragging on his heart.
“It is not about you or me, or any one person, or any one country, as you say. I understand it is about saving something of our species to live on somewhere else.”
“Exactly, Vazak. If we can get everyone to understand they are not sacrificing themselves for nothing, they have nothing to lose, then we have a chance to convince laborers to work for the common good. And the common good is not an ark of salvation for kings and queens and their families, nor even the leaders of industry.”
“Yet we must reward those who lead us and those who put forth the money and resources to realize the creation of these ‘arks of salvation’ as you call them. Some of the other people should be selected for their knowledge and skills, whatever is needed for the flight and for the settlement beyond.”
She smiled at him, finding handsomeness in his rough features, thinking of Beauty and the Beast.
“It’s the ultimate job application,” she said, pulling herself back on topic. “It’s like ‘I am valuable enough, useful enough, that I should get a seat on the spacecraft, yet I know even though I am useful, members of my family must stay behind.’ Right? Complete objectivity. Qualifications only. ‘My family cannot join me simply because it pleases me; no, they will need to stay behind.’ That’s how it must be. Everything we do must be only for preservation of our species.”
“And the fertile females?” There was a twinkle in his eye that made her grin. “We must select the fertile ones, surely: the healthiest of both male and female if we hope to extend our species into other generations.”
“Skills, knowledge, healthy enough for a long journey, and fertile enough to prolong our species.”
“A lottery?”
“No, we cannot choose at random. We should let them apply. Let them tell us their skills and knowledge. If they pass that level, they will be tested for health and fertility.”
“Should be young, too, yet not so young they do not know anything and have no life skills however. And old people should not go, even if they are wise. That leaves me off the list.”
“And room for archives of all knowledge gathered from around the world, too.”
“Will these delegates accept such a plan?”
“If we present it this way, they will realize that most of them would not get a seat aboard the vessels and they would vote against the plan.”
“Then you must convince them of the greater good, as you said, Kalmonê. Their action, their choice, their vote is for the future of our species. Nothing less than that will survive. For what is a single person but a bag of cells and a will to keep reproducing itself? It is not our minds or our unique lives that has meaning in the calendar of the universe but the special blob of juice which is the pattern for making us anew. Or returning us to the furnace of creation.”
“You, Vazak, should give the speech. You have the words I cannot pull from my head.”


And so Vazak-Mixerran, ambassador from Nouvê, resident of Erit, half Jêpolissan, one-quarter Zetin, one-quarter Ghoupalle, beefy in a rugged, handsome way, stood on the stage and with thick arms gesturing, gave the speech of his life as Jinetta-d’Elous stood in the front row cheering him on. To the greater good of all humanity, he insisted, though he did not use the word ‘humanity’—ghoumæ was the Ghoupalle word referring to all peoples of a planet. That tactfully smoothed over endless conflicts between the major races and ethnic groups: Ghoupalle, Rouê, Zetin, Danid, Sogoê, Tigu, Jêpolissa, Kobareli, Lapugê, and the Dikondran and Bæro people on the continent of Bæronak. Instead of addressing the congregation as ‘fellow-Ghoupalles’ his word choice had the effect of calling to ‘fellow humans’ and won their attention. He outlined the plan in eloquent words Gina could only imagine being able to speak.
Sebastian could’ve done it, she mused, but he was nowhere in this time zone far into the future from the days of glory and savagery and romantic love and children who grew into heroes and goddesses—no, he was left long ago and far behind. She was on her own and could not leave. Even if she had found the right tangent to escape Kobarêl safely with her children, now there was Vazak, her buffalo-man, her lover.
The vote went as she expected, yet she never considered that she would be elected to oversee the preparations, a kind of Queen of Aerospace Industry, as it were. She would macro-manage and coordinate the various spaceports to be sure maximum efficiency was maintained through conformity to the models approved by the science council. In short, one model for all construction efforts. So everyone agreed—or enough of them to form a solid majority—that the construction of spacecraft was paramount and the resources of the planet would be put forth toward that goal: to have as many vessels ready as possible in the 31 years remaining.
Of course, not all agreed. The main refutations came from the religious legions and the optimistic hordes. The religious believed they should welcome the comet as their punishment; to attempt to avoid it would be an affront to the seven gods and nine goddesses. The F’eng followers were the worst, choosing a masochistic lifestyle full of self-inflicted pain. The most extreme of them would cut their faces to the bone in sympathy with the prophet F’eng who had no face. Their horrible blood was found everywhere they congregated, spotting park benches, street corners, door handles, and trees. They were forbidden on public transportation. All Gina knew was that their leader, a mystic named F’eng, had supposedly gained enlightenment from surviving a severe disease which left him disfigured and in perpetual pain. She thought he might be glad to end the pain as soon as a comet strike could be arranged, but he lingered on. Now his disciples carried forth his message.
The optimistic denizens of the planet believed the comet would miss them, fly right past without so much as a wink. Or, barring that, a few well-aimed rockets with explosives could be launched at the comet to break it up and send the smaller chunks harmless away. Some at the conference had proposed the idea. The scientist who stood and answered their concerns had posed the question What if we miss? If that were the case, they would have no time left to build the fleet of spacecraft in order to evacuate. Go ahead and build them, he said, so we have them if we need them; and if we do not need them then we have them available for interplanetary exploration at leisure.
The degree of error in calculating the comet’s trajectory had been accounted for, leaving the target on track, as feared. A shallow  trajectory could sweep a continent off the globe, one scientist warned. A more straight-on arrival might set in motion destructive forces which would split the planet apart. The odds were not good for buying property thirty-two years in the future.
Gina gazed at the schematics of the proposed vessel, the R-10 Transport Frame and the V-7 Residential Capsule, on easels positioned to the side of the stage. She thought of Buck Rogers, decided the gold surface would be pretty, and the tune “Ticket to Ride” came into her head, causing her to smile. Better safe than sorry. Better a tangent to escape through than a rocket. Or a blue police box.



Therefore, let us say we need 50,000 workers to build 1 spacecraft that would carry 1000 of us to a new world. None of the 50,000 workers have a seat on the spacecraft--although a few may get on it by lottery or an application stating their usefulness to the journey.

How to persuade them to work, yet give up their lives? How many administrators does such a project need? Would you work for the common good, the survival of your species? Will you get a ticket to ride?



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 (C) Copyright 2010-2013 by Stephen M. Swartz. All Rights Reserved. No part of this blog, whether text or image, may be used without me giving you written permission, except for brief excerpts that are accompanied by a link to this entire blog. Violators shall be written into novels as characters who are killed off. Serious violators shall be identified and dealt with according to the laws of the United States of America.