18 August 2012

Bigger is not always better!

FYI* THE DREAM LAND will appear first as an ebook, so a short clever blurb for the back cover won't be necessary right away. Because...guess what? There is no back cover for ebooks. 

Previously I offered a pair of query-length blurbs which sought to provide more of an overview of the story for the benefit of an agent, editor, or publisher (please contact me, you know you want to!). They (the blurbs; not the agents, editors, or publishers) were much too long to be used for a back cover. The back cover blurb is intended only to pique interest in reading inside--possibly with a hint there may be a $20 note hidden between a couple of the pages. So in this case, less is more and bigger is not better.

And so, with your kind indulgence, allow me to offer these quick and dirty versions:

Tangent #1

How far would you go to save the love of your life? Through a portal to another world?

Sebastian, the quiet tax examiner at the corner desk in the IRS service center, carries a dark secret: once upon a time he and his high school sweetheart Gina found a rip in the universe and stepped through to a strange world of magical beauty.

The world of Ghoupallesz bursts with cosmopolitan elegance, alien perversions, and political strife--and Gina is drawn to the adventures that await. When Sebastian insists they need to return to Earth, Gina refuses and he goes back alone, vowing never to return. 

Then the headaches revisit him and he knows she is in trouble again, calling him from across the cosmos. He must, as always, save her. Maybe this time, he hopes, she will stay with him.

But are his adventures to the other side real? Or are they just the dreams of a psychotic killer? That’s what the police want to know when people go missing!

Tangent #2

How far would you go to save the love of your life? Through a portal to another world?

As high school sweethearts, Sebastian and Gina discover a portal to a new world. Adventure-loving Gina falls in love with the world of Ghoupallesz and wants to stay, but studious Sebastian fears losing touch with Earth and so he returns alone. But late one night, Sebastian feels the cosmic pull once more. Gina is in trouble again. Of course he must return and save her! Perhaps this time, he hopes, they can remain together.

Returning through the interdimensional portal, Sebastian must first gather his old comrades from the wars, cross the towering Zet mountains, and free Gina from the evil Zetin warlord’s castle. Unfortunately, Sebastian finds there are more questions needing answers. Is his adventure on the other side real? Or is it just the dream of a psychotic killer? That’s what the police want to know when his co-workers turn up dead.

And a few so-called nutshell book descriptions:

Tangent 2-A

THE DREAM LAND is an epic of interdimensional intrigue and world domination by a pair of well-meaning hedonists, marbled through with twisted humor and steampunk pathos, a patina of psychological thriller, and the quirky conundrums of time and space.

Tangent 2-B

THE DREAM LAND is a psychological thriller masquerading as a science-fiction epic of interdimensional intrigue, featuring two nerdy adventurers and marbled with twisted humor, steampunk pathos, and the quirky conundrums of time and space.

Tangent 2-C

THE DREAM LAND is like Stieg Larson meets Roger Zelazny and they discuss Dostoevsky over milk and cookies: a crime thriller crossed with dimension-crashing adventure, mixed with twisted morality plays that cut through the heart of the human condition, with a joke on top.

So.... Thoughts? Complaints? Questions? Lunch money? Spare keys? Chocolate?

*Some people think FYI means "For Your Information"; others, however, swear it means "Friday's Youthful Intoxication"--rather common on college campuses. I have also heard FYI means "Free Yemeni Internet" which has been the cause of much strive and most likely the reason sales of my desert adventure AFTER ILIUM have been so low there.

(C) Copyright 2010-2012 by Stephen M. Swartz. All Rights Reserved. No part of this blog, whether text or image, may be used without me giving you written permission, except for brief excerpts that are accompanied by a link to this entire blog. Violators shall be written into novels as characters who are killed off. Serious violators shall be identified and dealt with according to the laws of the United States of America.

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