Using Bunnies in Epic Fantasy

My writing colleagues often declare a state of "writer's block" or else request help in deciding what happens next in their stories. Just as often I suggest introducing a magic bunny. And rather more than I would like, my suggestion gets a polite chuckle and goes nowhere. It's sad, really, because bunnies (or, rabbits, in their scientific designation) offer so much in the twists and turns of a story's plot, especially in an epic fantasy.

In the early days of social media, when everyone of my friends were posting pictures of their dogs and cats, I reached point where I was feeling saturated. Then, as luck would have it, I happened to see a picture of the most cute, most perfect itty bitty bunny wabbit ever! (Look to the right->) And so I posted it, simply for its cuteness - and with contemplation of that cuteness came a certain lessening of my stress level. Little by little I sought out cute bunny pictures and posted them. I soon became known as the bunny guy, both loved and loathed - mostly loved.

Then came the dramatic tome known as EPIC FANTASY *WITH DRAGONS, which I have discussed at length here and here. Also here. (And here, if you are still curious.) Even though there are dragons in this mighty tale of daring-do, I found places where a magic bunny could make a significant contribution. After all, rabbits have a long history of portents in medieval people's lives - perhaps even further back to the dawn of bunnydom. Rabbits also have meaning associated with animal totems and sometimes serve as messengers of the gods ("More treats, please!"). Some of us place great meaning on the simplest of acts, such as "What Does It Mean When a Rabbit Crosses Your Path?" while conveniently forgetting a time long ago when mankind lived in fear of rabbits. 

But I digress.... 

I choose to use rabbits, nee bunnies, in much more wholesome roles in my Epic Fantasy novel. While always appreciated and adored, I've found bunnies work best as plot point prompts. In that capacity, they may be either a source of nourishment (if one is near starvation) or a harbinger of the future. They may also be recognized as symbols of fertility! (Recommended use: Have a bunny hop across the grass outside the bedroom chamber windows as your hero and the seductive queen begin their love making.) For further bunniness, I recommend this earlier post on this blog.

As a source of nourishment:

After some time on the trail, our hero and his cohort pick up a couple of rogues. The food they have to share is not too delicious.

    “I wish we had some drake walk across our path tonight,” said Gorral. “I need some meat. Real meat. Not this...this grandfather food, food for old men with no teeth....”

Corlan smiled at the boy.

“You need a magic bunny,” said Tam.

“What’s that?” asked Corlan. “A magic bunny?”

“Chef always said that. Whenever we would run out of food at the palace, he would pray for a bunny to appear in the garden. By magic.”

    “Did it work?”

    “Sometimes a bunny arrived just in time for dinner.”

    Corlan laughed and licked his fingers. “That would be magic.”

As a harbinger of the future:

At one point in the journey our hero and his cohort seek help from an old magus and body-stitcher, an ancient woman named Urma.

“I remember you talked about Yvella, but never said anything about Dreva. How are your powers now?”

“I haven’t gone up in flames yet.” Urma started to chuckle, then stopped herself. “Magic powers grow stronger as we count down the years. I have one-hundred-fifteen years now, with only fourteen more to live. So says the rabbit in my visions. I didn’t listen at first—who would take a rabbit seriously?—so I didn’t believe. Then she hopped ahead of me on a long trail and at each bend of the path sat a stone with my name on it, written in Luvali. Counting the stones, I came to the final number. The tally was complete. I knew then what day I shall be done with this life. That’s both a blessing and a curse.”

Furthermore, the qualities of the bunny can shed light upon a difficult situation:

In one of the interludes that together comprise a separate novella woven through the novel, we follow the adventures of a little princess and her faithful tutor as they flee the cruelty of the queen.

    “Some people, especially in the north and the east, believe we are born and we die, yes, then we are born again in a different body. It’s a great mystery. We say such people have twice-beating hearts. You could be one of them, little majesty. You are young in age yet much older inside. I have always felt that way about you, little majesty.”

    “Oh,” was the princess’s reply. “I always thought I was a bunny. I thought it was only a dream.”

    “Perhaps you were a bunny in a previous life,” said Jabuli.

    “If it’s true, I don’t remember it much. Vegetables is all. Lots and lots of vegetables.”

    “Do you still like vegetables?”

    “Oh, yes!”

    “Then perhaps it is true.” She smiled. “Now you are a princess.”

    Adora pouted. “I think I prefer being a bunny.”

    “Unless a dragon comes to eat you,” said Jabuli.

    “No, not then.” The princess watched the hillside, marked the city in the distance, the strait and the island beyond. “This is the farthest I have ever been from my slumber chamber. I never knew a world like this existed. It was only written on parches.”

In an earlier work of mine, THE DREAM LAND TRILOGY, I also used rabbits. In Book III, at a time of warfare, the opposing armies used giant war rabbits and battle hamsters, ridden by pilots and laser-archers. The beasts truly won the field that day! However, it is best to keep rabbits to a normal size and healthy disposition. Or else we might all succumb to the terror of the Middle Ages.

Not quite as I depicted them in THE DREAM LAND Book III, but...still impressive!

Therefore, when stuck in one's writing, always consider a bunny to liven things up. Fear not the hubris of old nor the salivation of culinary quislings, for it is only with the Zen of Bun that one may go forth with renewed vigor to face the world, a world which is often inhabited by decidedly unbunny-like dragons!


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(C) Copyright 2010-2017 by Stephen M. Swartz. All Rights Reserved. No part of this blog, whether text or image, may be used without me giving you written permission, except for brief excerpts that are accompanied by a link to this entire blog. Violators shall be written into novels as characters who are killed off. Serious violators shall be identified and dealt with according to the laws of the United States of America.

How I Lost the Election

About two months ago I declared my candidacy for President of the United States of America and the mainstream media did not notice.

Surprised? 

Well, apparently most people were. I thought I could be the solution. If I offered myself as a write-in candidate, then voters on both sides of the voting booth could have a choice to select which they did not loath. After all, I'm a pretty nice guy most of the time. As proof of that, I regularly post bunnies on Facebook. Those who knew me through social media would attest to my good-naturedness, my clever repartee, and my wholesome disposition. I even had some kind of a platform, which I outlined in a previous blog post. I also had an animal logo that would stand alongside the donkey and the elephant. 

Then the harsh reality set in. First, I learned that not even my own state allowed write-in votes. Other states had similar rules. Right then I knew I could not win but I still hoped to gain some support so I could make a valid run next time. I thought my platform was good, too. Nobody complained. I got several comments of support and none asking questions about details. I knew I would work out the details later, anyway, when I hired top people to think through all the problems and how to solve them. That's how it works; I learned that from the TV show WKRP in Cincinnati.

There were no scandals in my campaign, either. Having no staff and no press corps, I could have done anything, yet I continued my happy-go-lucky, carefree campaign almost exclusively through social media. Wikileaks does not even know my name, it seems. I accepted no donations from big donors; in fact, I had zero donations so I was forced to self-fund. I took out almost seventy-nine dollars from the bank and spent it on coffee and ice cream and hamburgers to keep the campaign going. I gave no speeches and had no rallies. I made no banners or yard signs. I was asked for no interviews and gave no statements to any election board. I did not even make a major magazine cover.

All right, I know I was naive, too innocent for politics, and I started too late in the cycle. Then I kept to myself and just hoped everything would come together and then I would be coronated by the masses. I would awaken on November 9 and be as surprised as everyone else that a simple lad born and raised in Missouri who had so many qualifications [sic] would be invited to direct the activities of a mighty nation. I could do it, too; I would willingly put aside my fiction writing business for a few years. And yet, it didn't happen. Instead, it seems everyone still voted for one of the two they didn't hate--when they could have voted for me. 

Now all there is is gridlock. Half the voters are pleased and half protest. Some cry out that it was all unfair, they didn't get their way. Some shout how they suffered during the past eight years so now others can suffer. Many think the world is about to end while others see the world being saved--both of them, of course, electing only a president, the leader of one of around 182 nations on this planet. Granted, it's a big-talking nation with wide reach and a bottomless belly, but hey...I could've done it. I would be a unifier. I would have brought people together, all the cat folks and all the dog folks. After all, that is what I did on Facebook. And, as we all know, what happens on Facebook...well, let's leave it at that. No reason to express an opinion that would only incite a response from...well, someone...anyone...please?

I hope for better luck next time. Can I count on your vote?

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(C) Copyright 2010-2016 by Stephen M. Swartz. All Rights Reserved. No part of this blog, whether text or image, may be used without me giving you written permission, except for brief excerpts that are accompanied by a link to this entire blog. Violators shall be written into novels as characters who are killed off. Serious violators shall be identified and dealt with according to the laws of the United States of America.

Warning: Cute Overload Ahead!

I am not without sentimentality....

Here we are, the day after Mother's Day, a day for contemplating the next commercially mandated arc of anticipation leading to Father's Day. It may also be a day to contemplate whether or not we showed enough appreciation for Mom. Or whether we were given enough appreciation from Mom for all we do. Then there's the lavish dinners, the flowers, the cake and ice cream, and the phone calls. (In my case, I was mistaken for a sales call and hung up on twice before finally identifying myself to my elderly mother.) At any rate, I am back on the blog circuit!

Last month I posted excerpts from THE DREAM LAND Book III "Diaspora" as they became available. Skipping scenes as I did probably left some readers baffled and confused. One of my dear fellow bloggers Connie J. Jasperson remarked that I was sharing "tantalizing" excerpts, which made me try harder to write something truly tantalizing. Sex and violence followed. Work continues, of course...until either the book is finished or they pry the keyboard out of my cold, dead hands.

Last week I failed to blog, tied up as I was with stacks of final papers and portfolios from my gracious students. Truly a miracle of productivity: to produce an entire semester's work in a mere five days and hope for full credit with a smile. I'm not as cynical as I may seem; I've learned to sit back and smile at the ironies of the world, for they are many. (Just waking up in the morning is often an irony compared to when I go to sleep.) 

Nevertheless, for today's blog, I have in mind nothing but mirth and merriment for the month of May. 

To help me with this endeavor, I have decided to release the bunnies! I've found that a bunny a day helps restore my sanity, my pleasant disposition, and emboldens me against the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune that daily conspire to smite my delight! It all began with the plethora of cat and dog postings. I have nothing against kittens and puppies but there were so many of them. So I decided to counter that invasion with the bunny brigade: the cutest, tiniest, darlingest, sweetest bundles of furry love I could find on the impersonal internet.

Here are some of my favorites:

Beware the Guard Bunny!

Itty Bitty Bunny Wabbits always eat their veggies!

Itty Bitty Bunny Wabbits have been known to be great stocking cap warmers!

The stretch model of the itty bitty bunny wabbit!

 Who could have a bad day after seeing one of these itty bitty bunny wabbits? I ask you.
(They also like to kiss almost as much as people do.)

Spying on the neighbors!

They do like to be belly tickled...just like most of us.

This is an example of a Friday bunny, ready for frolicking and frivolity!

  

Ears up...

Or ears down...

This poor fellow aspires to be an itty bitty bunny wabbit but, alas, does not meet the criteria. 

There are no black sheep among itty bitty bunny wabbits!

Itty Bitty Bunny Wabbits also make great puppy warmers!

If you don't have access to a real itty bitty bunny wabbit, you can always draw one. It has almost the same effect of lowering blood pressure and calming heart palpitations, as well as curing dandruff and sore throats.


NEXT: I shall return to esoteric discussions of interdimensional travel and the daring individuals who attempt passage without the aid of itty bitty bunny wabbits.


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(C) Copyright 2010-2013 by Stephen M. Swartz. All Rights Reserved. No part of this blog, whether text or image, may be used without me giving you written permission, except for brief excerpts that are accompanied by a link to this entire blog. Violators shall be written into novels as characters who are killed off. Serious violators shall be identified and dealt with according to the laws of the United States of America.