Looking at the Male Gaze

When I had the idea and was ready to start writing my latest novel, a crime thriller with a romantic subplot, I had to decide who would tell the story. I chose to have the guy be the protagonist. I'm a guy and I thought I could best tell the story through this fictional adult male. Thus, the "camera" is always on the man's shoulder as he goes through the scenes; it's what we call "close third-person" point of view. I made that choice because this character would be the one who is most affected by the circumstances of the story, hence the most interesting character. However, I knew my choice would leave me open to criticism of the so-called male gaze. 

In recent years a lot has been said about the "male gaze" in literature and film. The male gaze is the idea that every story is about a male gazing at a female; in essence seeing her as a sexualized object rather than a whole person. If you google "male gaze", you get this definition: "the perspective of a notionally typical heterosexual man considered as embodied in the audience or intended audience for films and other visual media, characterized by a tendency to objectify or sexualize women." In other words, all literature is represented by the male hero seeing all females as sexual objects. It is the standard format. This is gradually changing, fortunately.

You could also find articles such as one about Laura Mulvey which explains the theory: "The Male Gaze theory, in a nutshell, is where women in the media are viewed from the eyes of a heterosexual man, and that these women are represented as passive objects of male desire." Examples in film "include medium close-up shots of women from over a man's shoulder, shots that pan and fixate on a woman's body, and scenes that frequently occur which show a man actively observing a passive woman." ...And especially thinking or commenting about the woman he sees.

The same would apply to a novel where the male character describes (or the author describes through his point of view) the appearance of the female character, which may be described neutrally or in terms which suggest to the reader how the male character is seeing and/or thinking of the female character. Writing descriptions of any character requires a lens through which the author wishes the reader to make determinations about the character being described - but also about the character doing the describing. This feature is plain to see when reading amateur erotica, where all descriptions focus on the sexuality of the person being described. In a mainstream novel, however, more subtlety is needed and better craft is employed.

You have to describe your characters - how they dress, how they stand, their facial expressions - and from that information the reader may get a sense of other aspects of the character. If the story involves, for example, a creepy guy staring at girls, well, of course he would see them as sexualized objects and describe them that way. A regular sort of fellow would probably recognize that he had the option to describe a female character in ways that would be objectifying, but he might refuse to think of her in that way. He would know it was wrong. Or he would simply keep his thoughts to himself, knowing they are inappropriate. That, too, would reveal the inner thoughts of the male character through his action of not describing a female character in an objectifying way.

In my latest novel, I tell the story from the male character's point of view. When I have him look at the principal female character, I let him be a man. He notes how she dresses, wears her hair, and so on, but he doesn't do so to objectify her - he merely thinks she looks pretty. He understands he should not look at her in a certain way, that it would not be appropriate. In fact, he spends much of the novel reminding himself of the rules imposed on himself by himself and by society. 

I wrote from the man's point of view even with the threat of potential readers lamenting yet another male gaze tale, because to write from the girl's point of view would set me up for accusations of not being able to understand a girl's point of view. "Write what you know" is the old admonition; I know the male gaze. Ha! Not really. It's an animal reflex tempered by social customs - and like any good story, the reality of the way people act and think brings a story to life, even if it may not reflect changing attitudes and updated norms or an ideal, perfect world we may wish for.

I believe an author should be able to craft a compelling story regardless who the protagonist is, regardless of the narrator, whether he saves the girl or something equally interesting happens. The trend now is for the girl to save herself or to save the boy, which is fine. I've done that in other books. I've read plenty of novels written by women and with female protagonists. But I felt I could not write her side of this story effectively; hence, the close third-person from his point of view. He is in every scene and what he sees and thinks gives us the story. What he sees of the female character is as a passive observer: she comes and goes through her day, acting as she normally would, and he merely sees her passage. That is, until the relationship changes and he sees her in a different way (no spoilers). Alternately, because I limited the story to his point of view, I cannot describe him through her point of view - employing the female gaze (think, for example, any movie where the camera scans over a male's body for the female viewer's enjoyment) - but only have him imagine what she must be thinking, like when she watches him mow the law with his shirt off.


EXCHANGE, my crime thriller, is meant to be a contemporary story and set in real places with real characters facing real situations, acting in "normal" ways which may be predicated on society's norms, flawed as they may be. I'm not writing a polemic on how the world should be but offering an illustration of how it is, for the purpose not of investigating social roles but of explicating, in this case, the many angles on gun violence and gun control laws in our society today. What can be done? What should be done? I let the characters act out a scenario to bring various issues to light. 

Not to advance the male gaze.


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(C) Copyright 2010-2020 by Stephen M. Swartz. All Rights Reserved. No part of this blog, whether text or image, may be used without me giving you written permission, except for brief excerpts that are accompanied by a link to this entire blog. Violators shall be written into novels as characters who are killed off. Serious violators shall be identified and dealt with according to the laws of the United States of America.

Exchange

Let's take a break from our regularly scheduled writing lessons to allow me to announce the launch of my latest novel EXCHANGE which was delayed because of the worldwide crisis which went viral.  The book was ready to launch when we were all ordered to stay at home for the sake of our collective health. Prior to this situation, it was gun violence which most occupied our national attention, and that is the subject of this novel.

Sure, most authors borrow bits from their own lives to stuff into stories, and I did, too. But only if you really knew me would you be able to detect those. I've never been involved in any shooting, but the mass shootings we've endured the past twenty years have still greatly affected me. Last summer (2019) there were two major incidents about a week apart. One problem with blogging, I've found, is that just when I was ready to post a light-hearted blog about nothing important, there would be some tragedy like a shooting to mar my attempt at humor. It was often difficult to post. I do not mean to say my blog posts are more important, however.

At the same time, I had been planning last spring (again 2019) for someone special to join me here - and that factored into the plot of the story, as well. So as I traveled around last summer, having not much to do while regretting that there would be no wonderful reunion after all, I put all the elements together. A what-if story! What if this happened and then this also happened? How would the people in the situation handle it? What would they do? That's got to be awkward. ...And the book was born.

EXCHANGE - from the phrase foreign exchange student, but having other connotations - is a contemporary (set in the world of today; I even set it in my own city), literary (focuses on the principal character's thoughts and feelings) crime thriller (there is a big crime to start the book and more crime that follows, leaving the reader wondering what will happen next and if the characters will survive) and romance (a subplot of flirtations and eroticism which may or may not lead to a relationship) - no spoilers. That covers everything, I think; I left out the dragons this time. 

Or, as the back blurb states:

An Unspeakable Crime.

High school teacher Bill Masters and his family

have a comfortable life in suburban Oklahoma City -

until his wife and teen daughter are killed in a mass shooting.

Overwhelmed with grief, Bill struggles to put his life back

together - or construct a new life from what remains -

even as he must combat continuing crime that threatens

him and his home.

A Second Chance.

When exchange student Wu Ting "Wendy" Wang arrives

from China for her year at an American high school,

she has no idea what has just happened to her host family.

She's a constant reminder to Bill of why his family is gone.

Yet he is determined to protect her at any cost - ready 

to use his father's gun. And he will not fail this time.

Beta readers have said it is a "slow burn" kind of story with a few 'red herrings' and unexpected twists that lead to a shocking conclusion. Just as I intended when I wrote it. Who could've known? 

Available now - finally! - in paperback and for Kindle. Thanks for your patience in waiting for it's release.

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(C) Copyright 2010-2020 by Stephen M. Swartz. All Rights Reserved. No part of this blog, whether text or image, may be used without me giving you written permission, except for brief excerpts that are accompanied by a link to this entire blog. Violators shall be written into novels as characters who are killed off. Serious violators shall be identified and dealt with according to the laws of the United States of America.

The Solitude, part 5

The good news* is that some of us have been given permission to return to our usual way of life, our old habits, the normal things we are used to doing. For me, that includes the launching of my latest novel, EXCHANGE, which has been delayed because of the changing circumstances of life in general. I lovingly describe it as a crime thriller because it involves a big crime followed by on-going crimes and the main character has to keep trying to deal with the cascade of trouble. Mostly it's about the issue of gun violence in America. (More on that touchy subject next time.)

*The bad news, by the way, is that some of us haven't yet been given permission - as though we are in kindergarten and need to ask the teacher for permission to go by ourselves to the restroom!

For this week, I need to rush headlong into the next step in my writing process, a process I paid attention to while writing EXCHANGE, just so I could tell you about it.

Part 5

When I'm heading into the middle of the book, it is subplot time. Some of those are already part of the original idea, the obstacles the protagonist must overcome. Others are just some seeds I toss in hoping to harvest later in the book. Often they do not blossom so I must go back during revision and rip them out.

Depending on the genre, I might make a rough outline of events, at least chapter by chapter as I go, or I will simply press ahead and let the story unfold in whatever manner it does, almost as though I am merely taking dictation from the muses in my head. I like that feature of writing: letting it happen. If you read enough you get a sense for how a story should unfold and get a feel for the timing of things happening.

There seem to be patterns we absorb as readers that stay in our heads to shape plots and enforce genre demands. This allows me to skip a formal outline or detailed plotting. If I need to, I will slow down and write some short ideas about a scene, but I seldom do more than that. If a difficult-to-write scene is coming up, I may take a break from writing while I think it through in my head, or sometimes do some research. (I'll keep the story in my head during this time by editing what I've previously written.) Because I tend to get into the head of my protagonist and try to think like him/her (thanks Acting 101 class in college!), I feel the same emotions as my protagonist (or whichever character I'm writing), so it often takes an emotional toll on me. Yes, sometimes I cry when I've made my characters do something bad and feel proud when they do something good.

Along with subplots - which, for me, will come to fruition alternating with main storyline scenes - are other characters. Pretty standard for me: protagonist (narrator), sidekick or assistant, love interest, but I do not usually have a true antagonist or villain. I believe firmly in the antagonist being a protagonist in his/her own mind. Only in my vampire trilogy do I have a true villain bent on destroying the hero. In most of my books, what hinders the protagonist are elements of nature or other people just getting in the way, not really seeking destruction. That seems more realistic to me, even in an epic fantasy.  

So this takes me two-thirds of the way into the story - where I need to start planning how to stick the landing. Because I usually already know how the story will end, it is simply a matter of wrapping up storylines, as I do in Part 6.

NEXT: The climax. And maybe a complete explication of why I wrote EXCHANGE.


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(C) Copyright 2010-2020 by Stephen M. Swartz. All Rights Reserved. No part of this blog, whether text or image, may be used without me giving you written permission, except for brief excerpts that are accompanied by a link to this entire blog. Violators shall be written into novels as characters who are killed off. Serious violators shall be identified and dealt with according to the laws of the United States of America.

The Solitude, part 4

This extended period of time wouldn't be too different from my usual summer vacation, except for not having a movie theater to visit or a bookstore to browse in. I thought initially that I would get a lot of work done, perhaps start a new novel, but like in the past, when I have a lot of time I tend to waste it while I can be incredibly productive in short bits of time, like an hour off between classes. However, I still remember my traveling lecture about my particular writing process, so I'll keep going.

After I've gotten the idea and toyed with it a while to be sure it's something that would make a good story and I've played around finding the narrator's voice, I'm ready to go. I envision the opening scene, something appropriate to the story, maybe our hero or heroine doing something typical or something out of character. It depends on the story and the genre. The first rush of key-flinging is exciting but then...

Step 4

When I get to around 10,000 words, I have to think ahead about what should happen. Because I usually have the ending in mind when I begin - or at least by the 10,000 word mark - I need to add the required obstacles and detours and dangers I think what would be logical for the story and the characters' world view as well as being interesting in their own right.

Some of my writer friends like to plan out everything in a formal manner. Not me. I like to get into the head of my protagonist and try to think as he/she would think - like an actor taking on a role - and let the next thing happen as unexpectedly for me as for my protagonist. If I do any planning of interim events, it's seldom more than a list of event keywords, like "dragons attack" or "pervy photog, Bill intervenes". I'll work out the details when I get there. When I have tried to outline in more detail, like some colleagues do, I always drift off it fairly soon and even when trying to return it just becomes a whole new outline - like there are so many versions of a story in the multiverse.

A lot depends on the genre, of course. Each genre has its own requirements or traditions. I know I must include or follow some of them, well enough to honor the genre, but if I write the same things then it won't be good - and not so interesting to me. So I always try to write a little askew from the norms. Yes, most epic fantasy crime romances go this way, so I will make a change here and twist it there to be different. I get a lot of cross-genre hybrids that way. But I don't care; if the story interests me, I keep writing.

If the story stops being interesting to me (yes, there have been a few), nobody else ever sees it. The effort to make it interesting - not to mention believable for the story's situation - is what makes writing difficult. You know where you want to go but aren't sure the best way to get there. That is my number one frustration while writing.

In my current Work-in-Progress, given the way the book opened, at the 10,000 word mark I made sure to give my protagonist new problems to have to confront. As a contemporary story, the problems are obvious and don't require me to make a list (outline). However, while driving around, for example, I may have a thought pop into my head that reminds me to add this or that. What if this happened? Wouldn't that be awkward? How would he react? Like a psychology experiment. Sometimes I must go back to an earlier scene to put it in a new predicament - the curse of not outlining before writing. Sometimes I keep a list of things that need to be added and I will put them in at a good place in the story during revision.

Moving the story along to the mid-point is an exercise in mini-dramas and dramatic arc which are limited to a chapter. I like the aria and recitativo model taught to me by author David  Huddle during my MFA program. As a former music student, I understood immediately the operatic concept. The aria is a real-time scene with dialog and details that explore the situation, feelings, motivations, and develop character and move the plot forward. The recitativo is simple exposition which takes you to the next aria. It should not have any important revelations in it. String a bunch of arias together and you have a full opera.

The main idea is that writing the beginning, up to 10,000 words is a different kind of writing than the rest of the book. Then I must shift into what feels like a completely different frame of mind. At this point, I also start thinking of the story throughout my daily life. Thoughts pop into my head at random. Then I cannot keep from returning to the keyboard.

Next: Subplots.


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(C) Copyright 2010-2020 by Stephen M. Swartz. All Rights Reserved. No part of this blog, whether text or image, may be used without me giving you written permission, except for brief excerpts that are accompanied by a link to this entire blog. Violators shall be written into novels as characters who are killed off. Serious violators shall be identified and dealt with according to the laws of the United States of America.

The Solitude, Part 3

Have you ever just awakened in a rush and realized you're late to write a blog post? No, me neither. But I have awakened and realized it just might be Sunday again, so a blog post would be a way to fill the morning. So once again we return to the subject at hand: my writing process. Why? Because many have asked me the infernal questions: Where do you get your ideas? and How do you write all of that stuff? So I've tried to think it through and come up with answers. Then I wrote it out for the sake of some future creative writing class I likely will never teach.

I revealed the 'getting ideas' part already (see previous blog posts). The next step is to get started. The opening scene. The first paragraph. The first sentence. Once upon a time or It was a dark and stormy night are not allowed. Start with the main character doing something in the first sentence. Or you can go with a statement about the weather or the collapse of society. Something - anything - just to get some words on the page or screen. 

When I was a young writer I was fascinated by the setting of the story, mostly because I wrote science fiction and alien worlds were...fascinating. As I later moved into contemporary literary fiction, I focused on the protagonist before the setting - because, well, the setting was already fairly well known, being contemporary and such. Here is what I thought of while driving from Winnipeg to Edmonton last summer because the road was there:

Step 3

When I get the first germ of an idea, I need a character to carry the story. In my younger writing days, I was all about interesting plots and the characters were cardboard. Then, in my graduate school days, I was ushered rather forcefully into the world of character-driven fiction. So now I have to begin with an interesting person - or, at least, an ordinary person with an interesting problem.

 To begin a novel I do some test writing. I begin with the principal character (usually the protagonist) and see where it goes. Mostly I am experimenting with the voice. How does that character speak? Can I imitate that character's way of speaking? Voice patterns, way of thinking, world view? Dialect or vernacular? Age? (In my novel A Girl Called Wolf, I wrote the main character speaking as a young child with limited vocabulary at the beginning, then as an older child, then a teen, and finally an adult.) A lot of fiction today seems to favor the 1st person point of view, especially in YA. I remember most of the stories read in my youth were in first-person. A lot depends, in my opinion, on the story (what happens) and the narrator (who tells what happens).

 If the protagonist has a unique voice, a way of speaking that is compelling or who has special knowledge, then 1st person (I, me) makes sense. But sometimes you want a little distance between the reader and the narrative/characters so 3rd person (she/her, he/him) is more appropriate. Also, if you are working with a large cast of characters, 3rd person can allow you to get into each one's heads.

 In 3rd person you can still focus on one character, as I do in my current WIP, or you can treat all the characters as actors on a stage. A "close 3rd person" still allows you to hear the character's thoughts and know his/her feelings. You just cannot know the internal thoughts and feelings of other characters. In my collection, I have only 3 novels using 1st person. One other was originally 1st person but I changed it to close 3rd to give the story more space.

This bunny has no purpose here other than to be a bunny.

Therefore, as various writing gurus have said and I have to agree, the only reason to use first-person for narration is because the speaker has a unique perspective on the story and can convey it in an interesting way. Otherwise, third-person will do quite nicely. Make it close third-person if you still want that tight perspective. 

For example, in my forthcoming novel, I keep the "camera" on the shoulder of my protagonist/ main character throughout, even though I use third-person. However, in doing so, we must be very careful not to hop into the head of another character. I cheated a bit in one scene by having her overhear what the protagonist was speaking into a phone in the next room. But I did not enter her head and reveal her thoughts; only physical action - which may suggest thoughts but not official expose them. I stayed cool, man, cool.


NEXT: The Story Takes Off


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(C) Copyright 2010-2020 by Stephen M. Swartz. All Rights Reserved. No part of this blog, whether text or image, may be used without me giving you written permission, except for brief excerpts that are accompanied by a link to this entire blog. Violators shall be written into novels as characters who are killed off. Serious violators shall be identified and dealt with according to the laws of the United States of America.

The Solitude, Part 2

I didn't really expect everything would return to normal by this weekend. However, I did kind of wish I could use my time off from the day job to go traveling around, visit far-flung locations, schmooze with tropical gallivants, perhaps come up with a new story to fill my days. I did start writing a post-apocalyptic plague novel. But then so has every other writer I know. I have 4000 words so far.

Nevertheless, I promised to continue my yet-to-be-award-winning series on my particular writing process. Last blog post, I explained how I get ideas for novels. This post, I will describe what I do once I have the idea. I'm not suggesting here that this is the best or only way to proceed; rather, this is what has worked for me. Indeed, this is what I see happening time and time again when I'm beginning a new book.

Step 2

A lot of writers I know like to construct elaborate outlines of a book and follow their outlines religiously, allowing for an occasional detour. Not me. I generally have the whole idea in my head when I begin. I know where I'm going and the basic direction. However, exactly how I will get to the end and what I may discover along the way that I haven't thought of in the early stages is always interesting. By the time I reach about 10,000 words, I'm sure of how the story will end. I have changed the ending from my original idea in only a couple of my books. 

By this point, I have also listened to a lot of music and may have constructed a soundtrack, music which fits the scenes or which establishes the mood for scenes. I use music A LOT to aid my writing. Film music or music for video games works best, depending on the genre of the book. During the course of writing I will listen to the same set of music countless times and will be sick of it by the time I finished the final editing.

The post-apocalyptic plague novel I mentioned above is still in this exploratory phase, where I'm writing to see what ideas come to the forefront, what possibilities appear. A few stories end in this stage while others go on to be completed. If I don't hit some pay dirt at around the 10,000-words threshold, it's probably going to just sit on my computer forever.

I've found that, when I'm going to the day job, I seem to get more writing done by typing between classes than I do at home with a lot of free time, such as over a weekend. Yes, it depends on how deep into the story I am. I know the book is a 'go' when I'm thinking of the story - what happens next, or something I need to go back and put in - all through the day.

Now that I have time, maintaining the solitary confinement only a madman would put himself through, I find it difficult to be productive. Clearly I'm not far enough into the new book to let it pull me to the keyboard constantly. But we will get there.

I also have anxiety about the launch of my "current" novel, which has been pushed back due to the way this medical situation has filled everyone's minds with worry and fear. No room for something else, such as a new novel to read. However, some author friends have advised me that this is a good time to put out a new book because everyone has time to read, and wants something to fill their days. There is a fine line between adoring and abhorring this brave new whirly-bird.

Next post: getting the voice of the story.



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(C) Copyright 2010-2020 by Stephen M. Swartz. All Rights Reserved. No part of this blog, whether text or image, may be used without me giving you written permission, except for brief excerpts that are accompanied by a link to this entire blog. Violators shall be written into novels as characters who are killed off. Serious violators shall be identified and dealt with according to the laws of the United States of America.

The Solitude

So here we are with little to do, safely ensconced in our homey paradise. I'm passing the time by still teaching - moved online starting this week, a method of lesson delivery I've successfully put off until . . . well, now. I've also spent time writing and editing. Editing the proof copy of a novel whose launch has been delayed because of the pandemic crisis. Seems it's a poor time to get everyone excited about reading a new book - unless it's a post-apocalyptic plague novel, of course. On that note, the novel I've just started is a post-apocalyptic plague novel. Checking the social media. Also, longer naps. Counting each day how many meals' worth of food I have left. And generally mulling over life.

In my erstwhile day job, I teach college students how to write, mostly for academic purposes but I also encourage creativity. Indeed, a lot of my effort is to encourage young writers that they can write and that what they write is worth writing. My favorite saying (which I though I coined although I've seen similar statements attributed to Hemingway and Benjamin Franklin) is this: "If it's not worth writing about, it's not worth doing." To that end, I often talk about my books, especially how I get the ideas and develop them into a full novel. Sure, a 500-word essay comparing high school with college is tough. But try inventing an intriguing adventure tale in a made-up universe featuring a cast of 20 characters, each with their own motivations and agendas, that goes to 233,000 words. Sorry, boasting again.

So as I lay about at the end of the summer, I pondered a little weak, a little weary, what exactly was my process. I was well into a new novel (the one that's been delayed) so I could examine how and what and why I did this and that. I matched events and ideas in the story with real things happening at that time and found several uncomfortable comparisons. It was (still is) what I would call a "crime thriller", or as close to one as I'm ever likely to write, and I knew how it began. One day a what-if question popped into my head. I'm not sure what caused that pop-in, but shortly after there were two mass shootings in Texas, about a week apart, which caught me viscerally. That was the idea I had for my just-started novel, so I was shocked and almost put away my writing effort.

Looking back more recently, I found the file where I just typed out a short "blurb" - enough to remember the idea for when I could have time to write it out and see where it went. From that "note to self" I knew the idea probably formed when I was planning for a friend to visit me from overseas, someone I had met and worked with in China the summer before. We met two summers before that when I was teaching a class at a university in Beijing. (You can scroll back through these many blog posts and find the details, if you're interested.) So the note went a little like this:

Foreign student scheduled to stay in US arrives just after wife & daughter die in drunk driver crash, so only the husband/father is host.

That premise seemed intriguing to me at the time, in the initial stages. The situation seemed awkward and rife with possibilities for exploration of many issues. At first, I imagined the wife and daughter being killed in a car wreck. Then the shootings happened. I changed the plot to have them killed in a mass shooting. Sorry. If you're a fellow writer, you understand; there's nothing personal in the decision, no attempt to exploit real events, no making coin off someone else's tragedy. In fact, those questions eventually are raised in the novel. 

Back to the process - the Writing Process (trumpets blare!). In class we spend a lot of time understanding where ideas come from. I give lots of examples from my own writing, academic papers included. Even a grocery shopping list starts from some idea, maybe what you need most urgently. Then you expand on that item. I didn't have enough corn chips to finish the guacamole, so chips is what goes on the list first. With stories, as Wordsworth (poetry comes from "the spontaneous overflow of powerful feelings: it takes its origin from emotion recollected in tranquility" - Lyrical Ballads, 1805) and T.S. Eliot (e.g., the analogy of the catalyst from "Tradition and the Individual Talent", 1922) have declared, it is a strange and unpredictable cross-pollination of disparate items that in the writer's mind become melded together as something entirely new. Half the time, this is how I get an idea for a novel. The other half of the time, I am told or directed to a particular idea and I work from that.

Last semester, I composed a set of steps in my personal writing process. Here is step 1:

An idea comes to me from somewhere, seems like an idea worth developing, so I think about it, maybe start some "test writing" and see where it goes. When I know it can be a good book-length story, I set up a file and think of the opening scene, type it out. I rarely outline or plan the whole story out, but I do think ahead chapter by chapter. After reading a lot and writing other books, I find I have a feel for the pace of a novel, the arcs of characters, and the place for certain things to happen. Usually before each day's fresh writing, I edit the previous chapter, then go straight into the fresh text.

Yes, it often seems that one-third of the entire effort is coming up with the right premise, the log-line of a fiction work, asking the best question which the novel when written will answer. I like to raise questions and take 100,000 words to answer them through a grand illustration.

More on The Process next time.


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(C) Copyright 2010-2020 by Stephen M. Swartz. All Rights Reserved. No part of this blog, whether text or image, may be used without me giving you written permission, except for brief excerpts that are accompanied by a link to this entire blog. Violators shall be written into novels as characters who are killed off. Serious violators shall be identified and dealt with according to the laws of the United States of America.

The Little Virus that Could

A lot has happened since last we blogged. I've been unaffected personally by all that has been going on in the world, the country, and my small circle of annoyances. I've been busy proofing my latest novel and always seem to find something I missed the previous read-through. I have other projects I need to finish, too. So I would be good if I had to self-quarantine for 14 days due to the latest health scare. A fortnight's staycation might be just the ticket to aiding me in getting over other matters unrelated to virus-whatever-cool-name-they-give-it. But I do have friends in China and Japan, and a Chinese friend who went to Europe, and friends in Canada who I'm concerned about. So far, all of them are healthy and safe. But they have no book to proof, sadly.

Last year, at the end of the summer, I became ill with a strange malady which, in hindsight, seems uncannily similar to the current pandemic's list of symptoms. It was mostly coughing and, at first, a bone-crushing headache and fever. No sinus problems, no sore throat, none of the usual cold or flu symptoms. I attributed it to a strong mold infestation in a hotel I stayed in, which had been damaged by Hurricane Harvey but was supposedly renovated. I got over it in about a month and thought nothing more of it until the news started filtering in from China of a new strain of an old strain of something strange.

As someone who has read a lot of sci-fi and written sci-fi, I find myself in the business of imagining, coming up with plausible scenarios based as much as possible on known science and speculation of future science. I and my colleagues in the field have role-played plagues and apocalyptic visions already, so nothing that presents in the news today seems too surprising or far-fetched. There's even been a meme going around social media mentioning a passage in a 1981 novel by Dean Koontz describing a bio-weapon coming from Wuhan. The more sci-fi/ dystopian/apocalyptic tropes go around, the more they stay around.

Now everyone is preparing to shut down the schools, cancel conferences, concerts, maybe sporting events, to keep people from congregating. Passengers on cruise ships have been hit hard. So, too, people collecting at ski resorts in the Italian Alps. Definitely not enough hand washing going on, I surmise. There have even been several infographics demonstrating proper hand washing techniques. If you didn't learn that from Mom long ago, you're not likely to change your habits. 

And people are making a run on toilet paper, which some say comes mostly from China.If the virus originated in China, why hoard the paper products also from China? Toilet paper? Come on. You're just going to throw it away, anyway. Stocking up on hand sanitizer and masks seems a little more sensible, but the act of hoarding itself, especially for non-food items, seems to smack of fear-mongering. A lot of people are making a lot of money off the frenzy. For those of us in the book business, I've seen memes about "panic-buying" books, presumably to have enough to read during a quarantine. I say you don't need to panic-buy books, just buy books. You should always have a 14-day supply of reading material - minimum.

And here's where I would suggest a sampling of my shelf (see upper right corner of this page for links). But in these fearful times, that might seem gaudy or self-serving. Listen: if you buy some books to wile away the hours, your purchase could help a soapless author get some supplies and maybe live another day, perhaps write more. Then, those who survive might get a new book for the next outbreak.

Keep calm and wash your hands.


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(C) Copyright 2010-2020 by Stephen M. Swartz. All Rights Reserved. No part of this blog, whether text or image, may be used without me giving you written permission, except for brief excerpts that are accompanied by a link to this entire blog. Violators shall be written into novels as characters who are killed off. Serious violators shall be identified and dealt with according to the laws of the United States of America.

The Anti-Valentine Rant

As we approach that day of reckoning - the most dreaded day of the year for many - perhaps it's of some comfort to realize that it's all based on someone being executed.

Yes, Mr. Valentine was killed for marrying couples in secret against the wishes of the government. Romans, you know. So strict. Strange how what goes around comes around. At any rate, he paid for his crimes. And there is nothing more romantic than that, right? Dying for love, for the cause of love. So, well, there's that. 

Chocolate, flowers, tokens of affection, greeting cards, love notes.... Most of this slush funding comes as crass commercial putsch, of course. Marketing 101. It's all just a crummy money mill. Invent a season and sell stuff for the season--or else you be labeled a rube, called insensitive, shown the door as the truly despicable person you are! It's foolproof inasmuch as only fools fall for it. And there are so many fools among us. I see one in the mirror each day. I fall for it every year. But not this year! I've finally awakened from my stupor.

So this love thing...what is it? Science tells us it's nothing more than a firing of neurons. It's a biochemical reaction to a certain stimulus. See a pretty face, feel happy. A pretty face is determined based on genetic programming and environmental quirks. We know what we like. For men, it's easy: there are ass men, boob men, and so on. For women...well, I've read they like broad shoulders and a non-physical attribute called confidence. Magazines can be wrong. Social media is more accurate these days.

Even so, it's a walking stimulus. Advertising is based on walking stimuli; Valentine advertising is based on sex-related stimuli. The problem is that such stimuli exists year-round, so what's the big deal about one particular day of the year? Because, dear lovers of love, if you do not demonstrate said love to said lover, you are a rube at best and an ex-lover in the making at worse. There is no middle ground, only a pit of ruin.

Yet never fear! We have the means to solve your problem. Just like the commercials on radio and television with increasing annoyance the Internet (every single @#$%^&* web page!) is a message that you (me? yes, you!) have a problem. You did not know you had it but you do. And it will zap everything that makes you you from you! You do not want that problem, do you? Obviously not.
So for a certain amount of money we can give you something which will solve that problem. Drug companies do this, too, and clearly have mastered the art.

You go along on your simple, unadorned life, thinking it's just a matter of getting older, not having a quality sleep, suffering poor diet, or not having enough friends, or not enough cool, hip, advertising-worthy friends (but who can ever have enough of those?), and then... BAM!!! No, it's not your fault, so don't worry. Besides, we have a solution. 

Buy this! Plenty to choose from. Eat this! Drink that! Take this! Wear this! Drive that! Look this way! Pay me! Pay us! Pay all of us! Or else you are not the person you want to be. Or else you can never be the kind of person you think you are! Give us money and we will solve your problems. We will roll back time, give you a make-over, prep you for your big re-debut, help you sweep the lover of your dreams off his/her feet! We will make you a god/goddess! 

Give us your money and all will be resolved. It's that easy.

Oh, for shame. Got no money? Well, then you don't count. Never counted, in fact. And who would want you anyway? That is, without the money to buy all the solutions you obviously need to fix all the problems you obviously have in order to fit into this perfect, virtual society we have constructed and dutifully maintain for the glory of all who worship the almighty Valentine and the many minions of Münchausen mania! Only then will you be worthy of membership!

Just click off and log off the obstinate media and social media and return to your quiet humble existence. Perhaps cuddle up with a wonderfully understanding book boyfriend/girlfriend. Many do. It's not that weird. (I have 10 books I can recommend.) Three-hundred pages or so will definitely last longer than an awkward round of that sexercise thing you used to do - well, that was before the Valentine thorn in your side started to hurt.

Yes, I know I like to rant. Sometimes it helps. Sorry. Probably there's a pill for that. And I have some money squirreled away for just such a solution to such a problem - a problem I never knew I had, couched in a Valentine I never requested or expected, from a person I have yet to meet, smeared with chocolate melted in a hot car then re-solidified later. At least, I think it's chocolate. It counts.

(There do not seem to be any memes for "book girlfriend" FYI.)

  

P.S., For those who take this blog post as a desperate cry for help, I can confirm that I'm a l l  r i g h t. Besides, I've got an unopened tub of ice cream just waiting for consumption. And a backup tub in case I need it. And directions to a donut shop.

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(C) Copyright 2010-2020 by Stephen M. Swartz. All Rights Reserved. No part of this blog, whether text or image, may be used without me giving you written permission, except for brief excerpts that are accompanied by a link to this entire blog. Violators shall be written into novels as characters who are killed off. Serious violators shall be identified and dealt with according to the laws of the United States of America.